


Chasing Cold

by mulberrymelancholy



Category: Naruto
Genre: Also the characters cry a lot, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Family Fluff, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Healing, Healthy Relationships, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Romantic Fluff, Sasuke apologises a lot, Sasuke stays, Self-Acceptance, Self-Indulgent, The found family that we deserved, and I don't see it as a character flaw, because I cry a lot, he gets lots of hugs, there isn't much plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-19
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:55:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21860530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mulberrymelancholy/pseuds/mulberrymelancholy
Summary: Did you hate the end of Shippuden? Do you think that Sasuke’s departure, which left an entire narrative arc unfulfilled, was fucking stupid?So did I and I have just the solution for you!There is healing! There are hugs and there are kisses! The characters use their words!Introducing the innovative ideas of male characters being able to cry and strong female characters being able to blush.It’s free! It’s fun! It ignores stupid heteronormative boundaries!Read now!(also, it has paragraph breaks)
Relationships: Gaara & Uzumaki Naruto, Gaara/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura/Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi & Maito Gai | Might Guy, Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy
Comments: 38
Kudos: 141





	1. A choice to stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sai tells Sasuke to get his shit together and face his friends like he's supposed to. This chapter is a lighter introduction; the tears and comfort will start in the next chapter.

There is a certain quiet to the world before sunrise. It’s serene; the birds asleep, morning flowers still closed to the night’s chill. There's a calm breeze that blows through the leaves and streets and houses, sweeping away the fears of the dark and bringing the scent of dawn and hope. It’s a quiet that Sasuke didn’t realise he had missed while he was training with Orochimaru. The hideout was permanently dark, so there was no sunrise, and it was always only him, Orochimaru and Kabuto, which made it permanently quiet. That quiet was heavy, but this would float. Orochimaru's was a quiet that hid the sins and shames of the dark, while this was a quiet that promised the hope and warmth of the light. Sasuke breathed deeply. It was a quiet that gave him the hope that maybe, one day, somehow, he could be forgiven.

He leaned against a tree outside Konoha’s gates, taking the headband Naruto had given him out of his pocket. He traced his finger over the Leaf’s spiral. The previous two times he left the village, he didn’t have this headband, he didn’t have something that could anchor him to this place. All that waited for him was an empty house and memories he’d much rather forget. But, this headband promised that the next time he returned, there would be a family waiting for him.

Sasuke walked slowly, his footsteps light, but sure. He knew it would be faster to manoeuvre through the trees, but his balance was unsteady because of the missing arm, and he didn’t want to risk a wrong step that sent him careening to the forest floor. He rubbed his hand over the stump. Naruto tried to convince him to replace the arm with some of Hashirama’s cells, but Sasuke felt that it would be another violation on the old Senju; Madara had already taken so much, so what right did Sasuke have to take more?

“You’re leaving?”

Sasuke stopped walking, dropping his hand to his sword as he considered the shinobi emerging from the tree in front of him. The boy was familiar – he had been with Naruto and Sakura when they had come looking for him at Orochimaru’s hideout a few months ago and had fought in the war with them – his replacement. He thought that Naruto told him his name was Sai.He nodded. 

“After everything they went through to get you back? You’re just running away again?” he asked, agitated.

“Naruto and Sakura understood. I’ve said goodbye to them already,” Sasuke said slowly.

“They’re just too tired to keep chasing you.”

“I can’t stay in the village, not after everything I’ve done. I don’t have any right to –"

The tree splintered under the boy’s hand and Sasuke jumped in fright. “This isn’t about you,” he said, his eyes dark. “You lost the right to be selfish the minute you turned away from them.”

“What else am I supposed to do? I’ve hurt too many people, made too many mistakes. How can I face the village like that? How am I ever supposed to make it up to them? Staying here would just hurt them more. I need to leave to redeem myself.”

Sai closed the distance between them, standing as close as he could to Sasuke without the two of them actually touching. Sasuke hadn’t realised how much taller he was until he had to tilt his neck back to look in his eyes. Sai’s face was blank, but his eyes were blazing with the same fire Sasuke had seen in Naruto. “Redeem yourself to who? Some strangers two villages away that don’t even know your name? I’m sorry to tell you, but you aren’t some great, big villain who destroyed the world," he mocked. "The worst you did was launch an unprovoked attack on the Eight Tails and most civilians don’t even know about that. They know you helped in the war, but that’s about it. You won’t accomplish anything by saying sorry to people you haven’t even hurt.”

“I need to do something,” Sasuke pleaded.

“You need to make yourself feel better by avoiding the consequences of everything you’ve done. You don’t want to look in their eyes and see the disappointment and loneliness that you put there. You want to run away. Again.” Sai took a deep breath. “Naruto and Sakura need you to stay – that’s what they’ve worked so hard for and you’re just throwing that away because you’re afraid.”

“Why do you care?”

Sai grabbed Sasuke’s collars and pulled him up, forcing Sasuke to meet his eyes. “Because I’m the one who has to look at their fake smiles,” he hissed. “I’m the one who had to pick up the pieces you left behind.” He shook Sasuke slightly. “I’m the one who had to bandage their scars and help them breathe when they were so scared _for you_ that they couldn’t stand on their own. I’m the one who has to try take your place and see just how much pain you force on the people closest to you.”

Sasuke averted his eyes. “What else can I do? I don’t, I will never, deserve them” he asked softly. Sai was right. He was afraid. Afraid of fighting and feeling guilty and wishing that he hadn’t started any of this in the first place. He was terrified of regretting and missing and being alone when they finally realised that they were far too good for him. He was scared of Naruto looking at him like they were family and Sakura looking at him like he had hung the moon and Kakashi looking at him like he was proud – it made him sick to think that they wouldn’t scream at him for everything he had done.

“You’re right. You don’t deserve them.” Sai let him go, and Sasuke fell back onto his heels. “But they deserve you. After everything they’ve gone through to bring you back, they deserve the chance to have you by their sides again.”

Sasuke widened his eyes, looking at the ground.

Sai turned away. “The only way you can make up for the bad you’ve done, is to do even more good. Every day, to make them as happy as you possibly can. Maybe one day that good will outweigh all the bad and they can heal as much as they deserve.”

Sasuke looked at the boy’s retreating back. He swallowed, straightened his collar, pulling his cloak closer.

He left.

The shadows in the Hidden Leaf Village were long and deep in the setting sun. They held secrets and lies and wars narrowly averted. They were filled with scars and deceptions and heartache, and Sasuke loved them. Shadows were fluid, easy to manoeuvre in if you knew where to step. He had grown used to them in Orochimaru’s hideout, and grown comfortable with using them when he moved to the Akatsuki. They were familiar, constant, the same shape at the same time every day. He knew them and they knew him; his darkness, his pain, his loneliness. The shadows in Orochimaru’s hideout had been sharp and deadly. They held hidden daggers and paper bombs and traps that had nearly killed him three times the first few day he spent there. He could never take solace in Orochimaru’s shadows, always afraid of what was lurking unseen behind his shoulder. The Akatsuki’s shadows weren’t as deadly, but they were cold. Empty, made not from a lack of light but from the removal of the light and joy around them. They were the shadows of the hurt and broken and lost, of a people who had nowhere left to go and had given up any hope that they once might have had. The cold from those shadows had sunk itself into Sasuke’s bones, finding a permanent home next to his pulse, and he didn’t think he’d ever truly be warm again. The shadows of the Leaf were his favourite. The tall, tightly packed buildings made sure the shadows were dark enough that he could hide easily, but they were warm, heated by the cobblestones that had baked in the sun during the day. These shadows held the laughter of children who wanted a brief reprieve from the burn of the sun, the breath of lovers that wanted to escape from the light. The shadows in the Leaf were full of life – safe and kind. He didn’t know these shadows yet, but Sai’s words had given him the hope that he might be able to.

“I didn’t expect you back so soon,” Kakashi said, not looking up from the form he was writing on the hokage’s desk. “Redeem yourself already?”

Sasuke climbed through the window into the office. He was surprised by how familiar it looked to the space where they had been assigned so many of their missions. Round, and open, allowing the Hokage to spot any threat that may be lurking in the room, virtually eliminating any option of hiding in the shadows. “Someone stopped me before I could leave.” He saw Kakashi lift his eyebrow, but he stayed focused on his paperwork. “The guy who uses his drawings. He wears a crop-top.”

“Sai, hm?” Kakashi said thoughtfully, finally putting down his pen and turning around to face Sasuke. His face was washed in light, and Sasuke realised how much warmer he looked now that neither of his eyes were covered. His old teacher seemed more open, as if he would be willing to listen, if only Sasuke had the courage to ask.

“He said that I have a responsibility to stay, that I can’t run away again.”

“Is that why you’re here? To tell me that you’re going to stay?”

“I’m here to ask if it’s even an option.”

Kakashi rested his elbows on his knees, his chin sinking to his crossed hands. He considered Sasuke, who was leaning against the open window he had slipped though. “Technically, yes. The only two official crimes that anyone could hold against you is the attack on the Eight Tails, and the fact that you killed Danzou. Bee, because of Naruto, has said that he’d be willing to forget the fight – since he escaped unharmed and actually enjoyed the chance to stretch his muscles. Danzou may cause some trouble with the elders, but since I understand the truth behind why you did it, and sicne Danzou tried to manipulate the Five Kage, I could argue in your favour.”

Sasuke stayed quiet, processing. He could stay.

“But...” Kakashi hesitated. “It won’t be easy. You know what the people thought of the Uchiha before you left the village. The fact that you were a rogue shinobi for a time won’t help change their opinion. You can stay, but you probably won’t be very welcome.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Sasuke said softly, turning his head to look at the village. It was glowing faintly in the fading light of the sun, all of the buildings new and bright after they were rebuilt. “I don’t care what the village thinks of me.”

“Then it’s your choice. Whether you stay or go is up to you.”

“Do I have a –“ Sasuke broke off when Shikamaru strolled through the door.

He stopped, one hand still on the door handle, the other clutching a batch of papers. His eyes went wide when he saw Sasuke. “I thought you had already left the village. Naruto said he said bye a few hours ago.”

“We’re actually discussing that now.” Kakashi beckoned him inside. “Is that more paperwork?”

Shikamaru nodded, walking to the desk, and setting it down. “It’s the inventory of our weapons and armour after the war. We can probably get by for a few months on what we have, but we’ll have to restock soon, especially scrolls and paper talismans.”

Kakashi hummed, picking up the papers and paging through them. He sighed, leaning his head back against the chair. “It’s been seven days since I became Hokage and I already feel like I haven’t slept for four weeks. Thank you, you can go home for the rest of the day.”

Shikamaru nodded respectfully, turning to go, but he hesitated at the door. “Naruto…Naruto and Sakura would be overjoyed if you stayed. We could use your Susano’o for some of the reconstruction work too.”

Sasuke was surprised. “You want me to stay?”

“No.” Shikamaru said firmly, shaking his head. “I don’t want you anywhere near my village or the people I love.” He turned around, and Sasuke straightened. “But I’m tired of seeing Naruto walking alone.” His eyes were hard and cold, determined, and he took a step toward Sasuke. “But if you do anything to hurt anyone in this village, I won’t hesitate to hunt you down and bury you so far underground that you’ll never be found again, no matter what Naruto or Sakura want.”

Sasuke nodded. Shikamaru stared at him for a few more seconds, then turned and left with a huff. Kakashi glanced back and saw that Sasuke had also left, nothing more than a gentle breeze through the windows to show that he had been there at all.

Kakashi looked at the photos on his desk. Two teams. One cursed and ripped apart. The other broken, but in the process of being fixed. He prayed once more that Sasuke and Naruto could succeed where he and Obito had failed.

Sasuke stood in front of the door and hesitated, his heartbeat unsteady. He felt out of place, too big for the small corridor. An imposter playing at being kind. A deception disguised as an apology. He didn’t belong there.

He took a deep breath, pushing the shadows from his mind. He knocked. “Got an extra bed?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first fic, so I am incredibly nervous, especially because most of it is pure self-indulgent nonsense. But, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed creating it.


	2. The sun rises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto and Sasuke are both awake because of post-war insomnia, so they take a walk through the village. Sasuke gets a little emotional.

The space was familiar, even though Sasuke couldn’t see the walls. He knew it was a round room with clay walls and a giant snake sculpture with glowing eyes on the opposite side. The roof had collapse, blue sky above him, but the shadows in the room still stretched so far that he couldn’t see the end.

A flash of pink rushed past him. Sakura. She was laughing without a sound, holding out her hand in front of her, as if she was reaching for something. Sasuke heard Naruto calling for them. He followed them.

She was behind him now and he turned, staring into her bright green eyes, suddenly much closer. He watched as they grew duller, fading from a beautiful spring bud to a murky puddle. Red trickled from her mouth. She disappeared in a burst of crows, Itachi taking her place. Then Naruto. Karin. He knew the next would be Kakashi.

Sasuke forced himself awake. He was lying on the floor of Naruto’s room, the moonlight streaming through the window pale in comparison to the light coming through the hallway. Naruto’s bed was empty.

“Did I wake you up?” Naruto asked when he stepped into the sitting room.

Sasuke shook his head. “Nightmare. What are you doing?” Naruto was, at two-thirty in the morning, sitting at the battered table in the centre of the room and bent over an old textbook, pages of notes scattered around him

“Iruka and Kakashi-sensei said that I can’t be Hokage until I’ve studied all this stuff, and since my dreams are keeping me awake too, I thought I’d give it a try,” he said, sighing, his eyes glued to the book. “But I can’t focus. The words are making rings around my head.”

Sasuke sat on the floor, leaning against the couch, staring through the window behind Naruto.

They sat in silence for a while, Naruto’s frown deepening as his eyes swept over the same paragraph, Sasuke watching the moon. "Gyeh! This is impossible!" Naruto moaned, falling onto his back, the book open on his face.

“Suigetsu always played music while he studied,” Sasuke said.

“Suigetsu? Is that the guy who can turn into a puddle?” Naruto asked, lifting the book slightly to peer at Sasuke through one eye.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at the obvious change in subject, but Naruto simply shrugged. "Yes," Sasuke nodded softly, hugging his knees to his chest.

Naruto sat up and put the book down on the table. “What was that team like? Taka?” he asked, avoiding Sasuke's eyes.

Sasuke considered for a moment, still watching the moon. “Suigestu was loud. And obnoxious. He always had to have the first and last word in whatever situation and he never wanted to be associated with any of us,” he huffed, amused. “He was always smiling, and some of his jokes were good enough that they made me laugh - it always surprised me when he did that. Juugo was kind, and warm. Steady, like he couldn’t be blown away by any wind, like he’d always be there to support you if you had earned his trust. He’d cry every time he hurt someone. He was too good for us.” He smiled. “Karin was almost as loud as Suigetsu, but she didn’t laugh as much. She was always angrier, more cynical. But she was the smartest of all of us. She could always see when one of us was hurt, but she’d pretend not to care. She had all these spikes and sharp edges and enjoyed poking you with them.”

Naruto had come to sit next to him, turning his own eyes to the moon and pressing their shoulders together. He was warm, lit from inside by his Will of Fire and the life of the Nine Tails. “Do you miss them?” he asked softly, as if he was afraid to hear the answer.

“I don’t know,” Sasuke whispered back. Naruto looked at him, tilting his head slightly, waiting for more of an explanation.

“I didn’t realise how much taller I’d gotten while I was with Orochimaru.” Naruto frowned at him, confused. “I…,” Sasuke struggled to find the words. “I got a new set of clothes after one of the very first training sessions when mine were ruined, and they were basically just squares of fabric so I didn’t really realise how much tighter they were by the time you guys showed up at the hideout.” He gestured with his hand. “It’s like I was stuck in this bubble where I couldn’t see or hear or even think about anything except the training. There wasn’t any light, and I didn’t think it was important to ask what day it was until I saw you guys again. Everything felt like it went past so quickly for me, so now…now it’s like I’ve suddenly got the time to feel all the things that I pushed away those three years, and there’s so much noise. I don’t know if me missing Taka is somewhere in that noise yet.”

Naruto considered him a bit more, the confusion mostly gone from his face. He stood up and held his hand out to Sasuke, who let him pull him to his feet. “Come on,” Naruto said, walking to the front of the house.

Sasuke followed. “Are we going somewhere?”

“We changed some things when we rebuilt the village after Pain’s attack. If you’re gonna stay here, you should know where everything is, you know.”

The village was shrouded in a different quiet from that morning, in the way a place could only be when the world had gone to sleep and the sky was still dark. This silence was soft and comforting, a blanket that covered the houses and stores lining the road. It was familiar, but distantly, like a memory of a dream. The houses seemed smaller, brighter, the lights new. Sasuke had a sudden thought, stopping in the middle of the street.

“Did…will you rebuild…was the Uchiha house…” He couldn’t find the words.

Naruto looked guilty. “We – Kakashi, Sakura-chan and I – tried to fight, but Granny Tsunade and the elders couldn’t justify building an entire extension for a clan that didn’t exist anymore when there was so much else going on. They never really believed that you’d be back one day.”

Sasuke swallowed, surprised by the sting of tears behind his eyes. He had seen the ruins of the Uchiha house during his brief visit to the Leaf during the war, but there hadn’t been time to grieve then. He had so few memories of the Uchiha extension apart from the blood and bodies and Itachi’s genjutsu that it hadn’t seemed necessary at that point. That house brought nothing but memories of the pain and cold of the darkness he’d let fester in him. Most were memories of his failures and his losses and his deepest regrets.

But…he also remembered his mother’s smile, her garden, how warm the house had been when she was cooking stew. He remembered Itachi laughing in the front entrance when he got home from school, his father humming to a tune on the radio while he sat at his desk doing the clan’s paperwork. He wouldn’t let himself think about it for too long, but he had always thought he would be able to go back again, clean it up, raise his children in the home that had been his tether for so long. Even in his worst nightmares, the Uchiha village was standing. It disoriented him that it wouldn’t be there anymore.

“Do you want to go see it?” Naruto asked, trying to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Sasuke moved away, hugging his arm across his chest, lost in the memories.

Sasuke shook his head. He could feel his breath getting shorter at the mere thought of the rubble and he didn’t want to know how he’d react to actually seeing it. Perhaps it was better this way. Those houses were a scar, on the Uchiha name and the village’s peace. They were plagued by generations of Uchiha’s suffering and oppression and isolation from the village. It would be unproductive to start rebuilding anything on such a shaky foundation.

Naruto nodded and lowered his arm. Why would he look so worried?

“Where is Ichiraku?” Sasuke forced. He needed to move, force his mind to think of something else.

Naruto stood straighter, as if happy that there was something he could do. “It’s still in the same place, but I _persuaded_ Captain Yamato to make a few changes,” Naruto said, a smile blooming on his face.

“It’s bigger,” remarked Sasuke when they found their destination.

“Old man Ichiraku had been talking for a while about making more space for guests to sit and eat, instead of just at the counter, so I asked Captain Yamato. It wasn’t too difficult, you know.”

“Does his daughter still work in the shop?”

“Ayame? Yeah. She’s planning to take over.” Naruto’s face suddenly pulled into a frown, as if he had thought of something unpleasant. “She went to this ‘culinary school’ the other day. When she came back, she took ramen noodles off the menu!”

“But it’s Ichiraku Ramen.”

“ _I know_! That's what _I_ said!” Naruto’s eyes were wide, and he was talking with his hands, throwing them in front of him in indignation, as if gesturing to the unlit sign above the entrance to make a point. “They fixed it pretty soon again, though.” He seemed sheepish about having been so loud.

Sasuke smiled, too small for Naruto to see, but he wasn’t breathing as heavily anymore. “Where next?”

Naruto thought for a moment, then led him through the streets. The walked in silence for a while, and Sasuke couldn’t find the strength to focus on the layout of the village right then. There would be more time, other days to learn his way around – he was staying. He could feel a stange weight leaving his bones, relaxing for the first time in what felt like forever. He felt unbound, light, as if a single gust of wind would be enough to knock him to the ground. His muscles didn’t know how to hold themselves up if they weren’t clenched in anxiety and anticipation, and he was so tired. He shivered, pulling his arm closer.

Naruto stopped. “Are you cold?” Sasuke looked at him, keeping his face still. Naruto rolled his eyes, then shrugged off his jacket, holding it out. “For you, idiot,” he said when Sasuke didn’t take it. Sasuke frowned, but didn't make any move to take the jacket. “Are you going to say something heteronormative? Because I don’t care if you are and it isn’t going to change the fact that I’m not getting cold and you are. I’ll help you put it on, you know.”

“No, that wasn’t it-“ Sasuke broke off when Naruto shoved the jacket into his hand. His arm was too numb to fight back. How could he tell Naruto that he had been cold for so long that he wasn’t sure his body would work if it was warm? How could he tell Naruto that even accepting this felt like he was asking too much? How could he expect Naruto to do any more for him than he already had?

He let Naruto help him put the jacket on, and he zipped it up as promised.

They walked further.

“Does Sakura-chan know that you decided to stay?” Naruto asked, relaxed, his arms crossed behind his head.

“No, I haven’t seen her since this morning.”

“Bet she’ll be happy to see you tomorrow.” Naruto raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes, pushing against Naruto’s shoulder. “And what about Hinata? Has she confessed to you yet?”

“She has, actually.” Sasuke stared at Naruto in shock. “What? Didn’t think I’d be able to get a girl?” He stopped for a moment, considering. “I turned her down, though.”

“Why?”

“It wouldn’t feel right.”

Sasuke nodded in understanding. “Forced heterosexuality.”

Naruto laughed and lowered his arms, bending slightly at the waist. The gleam in his eyes made him look more like the fox hiding in his belly than any Nine Tails cloak ever could. He was getting ready to pounce.

“I just thought she’d be too scared since you’re the big, scary _hero_ now,” Sasuke mocked, crouhing to brace himself. Naruto leaped, and the two stumbled, wrestling. They were careful, neither calling on the chakra that simmered just below their skin, using the palms of their hands so that they would shove instead of punch - both of them were tired of hurting each other. They fell to the road and felt their hearts leap when the ground gave out from under them and they rolled down a steep grassy hill. Once they stopped, they climbed off each other, and lay on their backs, panting. The moon was even brighter than it had been in Naruto’s room.

Sasuke sat up and was surprised to realise that he knew where they were. “It’s the pier.”

“You always came here to practice your Fire Jutsu, right?” Naruto was distracted, still lying on his back, his eyes distant and unfocused.

Sasuke tapped on his forehead. “What are you thinking?”

Naruto blinked. “Nothing in particular. Kurama just wanted to say that it was pretty impressive that you could master a jutsu like that so young.” Naruto winced. “Actually, that’s not what he said at all.”

“Kurama?”

“The Nine Tails.”

“It has a name?” Sasuke asked, his eyes wide.

“They all do. Shukaku, Matatabi, Isobu, Koukuo, Son Goku, Saiken, Chomei…” Naruto was thoughtful, almost a little sad. The villages decided after the war that no new Jinchuriki would be made, and most of the Tailed Beasts had disappeared into the various landscapes among the villages. They couldn’t be tracked down anymore.

Sasuke sunk back down. They watched the stars in silence for a while, and the sky began to lighten, casting the carved heads of the Hokage in steep shadows.

“I’m sorry, Naruto,” Sasuke whispered, so softly that he could barely hear himself.

Naruto stiffened, though. Of course he had heard. “You’ve already apologised.”

“To Sakura,” Sasuke said, staring at the stone heads watching over them. They were formless and foreign in the soft light of the rising sun. “I’m sorry I nearly took away your dream,” his voice was trembling, and he sat up to hide the sting of shame.

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you and that I refused to see that you were hurting and I’m sorry that I took so much time from you. I’m sorry that I ignored your strength and made you think that because you couldn’t save me you weren’t worthy.” His breath hitched, and he buried his face in his knees, shoulders shaking. He heard Naruto sit up, but he didn’t try to touch his shoulder again, and Sasuke was grateful. He hugged his knees closer, still not looking at Naruto. He was so grateful. “I’m so sorry, Naruto, for chasing a brother that wanted nothing to do with me and ignoring the brother that had a bed waiting.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t punch you harder the first time,” Naruto said.

"Punch of love?"

"Punch of love." Naruto was nodding firmly, but his face cracked into a grin when Sasuke looked at him.

Sasuke laughed wetly, using his hand to brush away the tears across his cheek. He lifted his head to smile at the sun peaking above the mountains. He felt a little warmer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the response to the previous chapter! I hope this one was worth it, since I really enjoyed writing it.


	3. A title earned

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Naruto has a bad day because healing is not linear, Kakashi discusses why sending actual children to war is a Bad Idea (TM) and Gaara comes to visit because Naruto needs cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than the others to make up for the long wait since my last update and because I've had a bad day and needed sleepy NaruGaa cuddles. I hope everyone's holidays have been okay, and if not, have some fluff for the soul.

Naruto was in a bad mood.

He had woken up this morning from a restless sleep drenched in sweat and realised the milk was sour. Kurama had been bugging him to go for a run since yesterday afternoon, but Tsunade still hadn’t cleared him for using his chakra yet, so he was sulking. Can you imagine how wierd it would be if the voices in your head were actively ignoring you? Deliberately sighing to make sure you _knew_ that you were being ignored? Naruto had a headache, and since Sasuke had already left for the day he felt justified in slamming as many cupboards as he could to vent some of his anger. He sighed in defeat when the handle of the ramen cupboard came off in his hands, and just barely caught himself before he threw it through a window. He dropped it in the sink and stood for a moment, leaning on the counter, trying to breathe some strength back into his body.

He looked at the clock on the wall. He wasn’t late, not yet, but he would be if he didn’t leave soon.

Sasuke, Sakura and Shikamaru’s team were already at the construction site. Yamato was monitoring Orochimaru, so most of the labour for the few left-over repairs had to be taken over by someone else. Naruto and his classmates had volunteered pretty quickly since cutting and stacking wood was easier than fighting again, and none of them had genin teams that they needed to train. Some of the older Chunin, like Ino, Choji and Sakura said they expected to be assigned teams after the war, but Kakashi wasn’t in a hurry to rebuild the Leaf’s shinobi force yet. He said there were more important things for now.

It took them a while to get used to building, but team seven and ten mostly stuck to the wooden houses so that they wouldn’t have to hear the clang of metal, and a falling bar wouldn't make them want to run from a paper bomb going off. They all had off days though, usually spent without talking, when everyone just painted in separate rooms because that let them make the least amount of noise. Sometimes, Ino would bring the small radio from their flower shop, and they’d just listen to light instrumental music, going out for lunch together when they needed to. Those were Naruto’s favourite days.

“Morning Naruto!” Ino called, as Choji waved. Naruto grunted, but didn’t respond, easily picking up a bunch of planks and carrying them to the unfinished wall on the other side of Old Lady Haru’s house without saying a word. He could feel the others exchange a glance behind him.

“One of those days?” Shikamaru said.

“Good thing I’ve got the radio.” They sounded worried, and Naruto flinched in guilt, but still couldn't bring himelf to say anything.

He got to work quickly, letting the soft song from Ino’s radio work its way into his head and block everything out. Shikamaru had made sure when they started that every room had the necessary blueprints, and they were easy to follow, even for Naruto.The3y didn't use too many words, just the numbers and lengths of the different planks that would be needed. It helped.

Sasuke joined him at some point, and the two of them worked in silence for a while, Naruto cutting the boards and Sasuke marking the pilot holes on each one as he finished.

“You didn’t sleep very well last night?” Sasuke prompted, still focused on his job.

“Bad dream,” Naruto said shortly.

“What about?”

“Jiraiya. I don’t want to talk.”

Sasuke put the pencil and weighted ruler that he had been using down, walking over to Naruto to put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, I’m sure –“

Naruto shook his shoulder violently and Sasuke’s hand fell. “I said I didn’t want to talk.”

“I’m sorry, I understand-“

“No you don’t, dammit!” Naruto slammed his hands down, accidentally cracking the plank on the stand. He hissed, “You got a second chance to talk to Itachi and ask him all your questions! He could tell you that he loved you and that he was proud of you and that he would always be there. Jiraiya was gone before I could hear _anything_ he had to say because I was chasing after _you_!” He was breathing hard, and Sasuke’s eyes had turned dark, the light emptying from them and his body sagged as if it was caving in on itself.

“Naruto!” Sakura shouted from the door. They had all come to see what the shouting was about and stared at Naruto in shock. He turned his head away, ashamed at what he had said, but too angry and too tired to apologise immediately. The roof hadn’t been finished yet, and Naruto took full advantage, jumping out and onto a neighbouring building. He had to get away.

Kakashi found him at the cemetery, hugging his knees in front of Jiraiya’s grave. It was always strange to see him so still, so empty. Unlike most, Kakashi knew Naruto had an incredible ability to focus when he needed to, like when he needed to gather Sage jutsu, but this was different – lonelier. Naruto’s eyes were blank and unfocused, lost and filled with far too much pain.

Naruto jumped when Kakashi put a hand on his shoulder. Kakashi sighed as he sat next to Naruto on the grass. “I hate that you kids are all flinching away from me like that.” Naruto shrugged, but continued to stare at the name on the grave without a word. “Sasuke said you had a bad dream last night. He seemed worried,” Kakashi prompted, keeping his voice calm.

“I said some really bad things to him,” Naruto said, pulling his head in between his knees, trying to make himself as small as possible.

“He’s done the same, probably worse.” Naruto tilted his head slightly, so that Kakashi could see him roll his eyes. “It doesn’t make it okay, but it does make you human. You don’t have to be everyone’s sun all the time, Naruto.”

They sat in silence, Naruto enjoying how the wind played with his hair and the grass at his feet. He could hear the kids who kept the graves clean and brought fresh flowers playing in the field, and he knew Kakashi would let him talk when he was ready.

“I’ve been thinking…” Kakashi started. “I want to increase the minimum age for new genin, so that our soldiers are older when we have a new war.”

“Why?”

“Because you kids have a look in your eyes that no one so young deserves to. You guys are seventeen – you should be thinking about crushes and not being able to cook, not how many friends you’ve lost. You shouldn’t flinch away from the armoury because you can’t stand the sight of kunai.” Kakashi looked at him pointedly.

“The fighting made us strong.”

“Children don’t need to be strong,” Kakashi said firmly. “They need to be protected.”

“We haven’t been kids for a long time, Kakashi-sensei.”

Kakashi sighed again, squinting up at the sun, as if it would have the answers to solve the village’s failings. He remembered how much he struggled, emotionally and physically, after his father died, and he had been older than both Naruto and Sasuke at that point already.

“An orphanage,” Naruto said suddenly. He was looking ahead now, at the flame statue at the head of the graveyard. “A proper one, where kids who are alone and have nothing else can go to find a family, a place that reminds them that they’re also part of the village. Somewhere that’ll keep them warm.”

Kakashi considered. “It shouldn’t be too difficult to add one more building to the repairs. We can even bring in Dr Yuhon to talk to you guys about everything you’ve been through. You and Sasuke especially might need it if he’s staying in the village.”

“Sasuke already apologised for everything.”

“A relationship takes more work than just an apology, Naruto.” Naruto grunted, and rested his head on his knees again. “We could reroute the money from Root to keep the orphanage running, what do you think?”

“You’re disbanding the Foundation?” Naruto asked, too surprised to remember that he was supposed to be sulking.

“I haven’t made any announcements yet, but yes. A big part of the peace treaty between the villages is being transparent and open about our movements and fighting ability. We can’t really honour that if we’re hiding a secret shinobi force.” Naruto hummed, his eyes brighter, and Kakashi stood up, brushing grass from his pants.

"Can we fix things, Kakashi-sensei?"

"We're going to try," Kakashi promised, holding out his hand to pull Naruto to his feet. “By the way -” he said slowly, “the Kazekage should be arriving soon.”

“HUH?!” Naruto yelled, all melancholy forgotten. “Why didn’t you tell me Gaara was coming?!” Kakashi laughed as he jumped away, then followed to greet the Suna guests.

The Sand Emissary was standing with the repair group that Naruto had run away from earlier, and they had just enough time to hear Naruto yell, “GAARA!” before he glomped onto the kazekage. Gaara stumbled, but Kankuro casually steadied him with a hand on his back.

Sasuke stared in shock as Naruto nuzzled his face against Gaara’s, and Temari laughed when she noticed his expression.

“You’re probably going to need another roommate for a while. We’re planning to stay for a few days,” Kanuro said.

“They’re that bad?” Sasuke asked, his shoulders sagging, slightly queezy.

Temari was about to say something but broke off when Gaara giggled.

The Kazekage. Commander of the Allied Shinobi Forces. Jinchuriki of the One-Tails. The Sand Demon. The boy who had been hell-bent on ripping Sasuke apart.

Giggled.

The all laughed at Sasuke’s slack jaw and patted him on the back in sympathy as Naruto led Gaara away. “You can stay at the hotel we rented. We’re going to have an extra room.”

“Where are we going?” Gaara asked as he let Naruto pull him away by his hand.

Naruto just looked back and grinned at him, and Gaara smiled softly, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Naruto pulled him up the stairs on the opposite end of the town, and soon he was sitting on the Fourth Hokage’s bust.

“Should we be up here?” Gaara asked Naruto, who was standing closer to the cliff, his arms outstretched to feel the wind. His eyes were closed, and Gaara noticed the bags beneath them.

“You’re the Kazekage and I’m the future Hokage – who’s going to say no?” Naruto laughed as he came to sit down, pressing their legs together and kissing Gaara’s forehead.

Gaara reached up to trace his face. “You look tired. Did something happen?”

Naruto sighed and flopped onto his lap. “I had a bad dream.” Gaara started stroking his hair, and Naruto relaxed even more, letting his eyes close. “I was trying to get to Jiraiya, because Pain was behind him, but I couldn’t run fast enough. He was trying to tell me something.” Gaara hummed, and Naruto pushed his head into his hand. “I flipped out at Sasuke. I should apologise.”

“Sasuke can wait.” Naruto hummed and grinned at him. Gaara had to swallow at the blue in his eyes.

Every time they visited one another’s villages, Gaara was surprised by how much Naruto seemed to appreciate his company. Gaara had never been good at reading anyone besides his siblings, but even he could see how Naruto’s eyes shone when he looked at him, the faint colour in his cheeks that wasn't there when he looked at anyone else. This beautiful boy who shone brightly enough that he could crack open Gaara’s shell and pull him out of the darkness was as happy being with Gaara as Gaara was with Naruto. It didn’t seem real, and Gaara often felt like he wasn’t worthy.

“I didn’t save him,” Naruto said, looking past Gaara at the blue sky.

“You don’t have to save everyone, Naruto.”

“’have to’, huh?” Gaara tilted his head at Naruto. “Most people say that I ‘can’t' save everyone, not that I don’t have to.”

“Most people don’t realise that you have a saviour complex.”

Naruto sat up. “I have a saviour complex?”

Gaara nodded patiently. “Why else would you chase Sasuke for so long?”

“I mean, he is pretty hot.”

"I don't see it." Naruto laughed when Gaara swatted his shoulder. He flopped down again.

“It would explain a lot,” he said softly.

“You don’t have to measure your worth by how many people you can save. Jiraiya was a shinobi, and he died as one. He made his choice, and he didn’t need you to protect him from it,” Gaara said, cupping Naruto’s face to force him to look into his eyes.

Naruto reached up to play with a strand of hair that had fallen into Gaara’s face. “I miss him.”

“I know, Naruto.” Gaara shifted so that he was leaning back against an outcropping of rock, probably one of the Fourth’s hair strands. “I think he’d be proud of you, though, of everything you’ve managed to do.” Naruto looked at him, uncertain, his eyes flicking with a small hope. Gaara lowered his voice. “Of the man you’ve become, the people you’ve saved, the world you’ve started building. The peace that you’ve motivated the world to strive for.” Gaara was still stroking his hair, and Naruto nuzzled against his hand. He wouldn’t be surprised if he started purring. Gaara laughed under his breath. “Your dad might not be impressed that we’re sitting on his sculpture though.”

Naruto laughed too. “He’s dead. He gets no say in where I sit.” He lifted himself up to look in Gaara’s eyes. “Can I kiss you Gaara?” he asked, so softly, so carefully, placing his hand on the back of his neck.

Gaara nodded and leaned forward. The kiss was soft, chaste, nothing like what Temari had described from her romance books, but Gaara didn’t want to deepen it. Naruto had been through so much, both of them had, and their entire lives had been almost nothing but a fight – to be recognised for who they were, for people to realise that they were good despite the monsters locked inside them. They had to fight for acceptance and respect and happiness. He wouldn’t let Naruto have to fight for love. Moments like these, when they were wrapped in one another’s arms they could barely tell where they each started and ended, were a way for Naruto to slow down, to be the him that is hurt and angry and sad. Gaara wanted his arms to be a home for Naruto. Steady and strong and unflinching in the face of whatever imperfections Naruto may have. Gaara wanted to give him a safe space to be a human being – a title he had earned as much as “hero.”

Naruto pulled away, resting his forehead on Gaara’s, and they stayed that way for a beat, or two, just letting their breaths mingle, their hurt and sadness and joy and warmth enveloping the space around them. Then Naruto yawed. “The sun up here is so warm,” he said sleepily, dropping his head to Gaara’s shoulder and looping his arms around his waist.

Gaara put his hand on the back of Naruto’s head and hugged him close. “Sleep, Naruto, I’ll be here,” he whispered.

“But what about…” he yawned, “The kage’s meeting?”

“We came two days early.” Gaara felt Naruto smile, and he was soon breathing deeply. Gaara turned him around, nestling his back against his chest so that his neck wouldn’t be stiff when he woke up. Then, the Kazekage buried his face in his love’s hair, breathed deeply, and slept.

“I’m truly sorry about this, Lord Hokage,” Temari apologised. “You set up this whole banquet to welcome us, and now our Kazekage isn’t here.”

Kakashi shook his head. “If he isn’t here, it just means that he’s with Naruto. I can understand the sentiment,” he said, looking at Gai, who was sitting by the buffet and talking to Lee. 

“Naruto was in a bad place this morning. You guys got here just in time,” Sakura said, standing next to Sasuke. Temari remembered how surprised the boy had been when she told him he was invited to the banquet too. Perhaps Naruto wasn’t as wrong about his old friend as she had originally thought.

“Gaara’s been stressed out too. I don’t want to know what the two of them get up to when they’re alone, but they’re always happy after, so,” Kankuro shrugged as he took a bite of food.

“Don’t eat! The banquet hasn’t formally started yet!” Temari hissed.

Kankuro glared at her and was about to say something, probably rude, when Sasuke interrupted, “How...how long have they been together?”

“Um…” Temari started, considering. When did it start?

“I know Naruto figured it out after we got back from the mission to save Gaara. He stared writing _letters_ , Sasuke-kun,” Sakura said, giggling.

“Naruto? Letters? Can that guy even read?” Sasuke sounded incredulous, but his tone was warm.

“Ugh, those letters. Gaara was impossible – he couldn’t do any of his duties properly,” Temari sighed, dropping her forehead into her palm.

“Yeah,” Kankuro said, still chewing. “He was either reading one of those letters or pining.”

“I didn’t _pine_.” They all turned their heads when Gaara and Naruto walked through the door, hand in hand. Sasuke noticed that the bags under Naruto’s eyes were gone.

“Uh, yeah, you did.” Kankuro pitched his voice higher, mocking, “'Oh, Naruto, if only I could see you! But we dream of different villages and our paths force us apart. To be with you once again would be the greatest honour!'”

Gaara slapped the laughing Kankuro across his head, blushing furiously. Temari, Sakura and Kakashi were also laughing, but Sasuke was staring at the look on his friend’s face. He can’t remember the last time Naruto had looked so peaceful, as if a part of him that had been rattling around his entire life had found something to hold onto and was finally quiet. Naruto noticed him looking, and whispered something in Gaara’s ear, kissing his cheek and walking out, looking back to make sure Sasuke followed.

They walked to the balcony. It was completely dark by now, but the stars and the half-moon were shining brightly enough that none of the torches were lit. Naruto was leaning against the railing, his hair and clothes dancing in the wind. Sasuke came and stood next to him, leaning his back on the border.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. I was out of line,” Naruto said, looking at the village.

Sasuke shrugged. “It’s okay. It was a bad day and I said the wrong thing. I pushed when I shouldn’t have. It happens.” Naruto huffed, but didn’t say anything else. Sasuke waited a moment longer, and then said, “You look much better now, though.”

“I got some sleep with Gaara earlier,” Naruto said, smiling softly.

“Just sleep, huh?”

“What?” Naruto asked, distracted. He turned and saw the Sasuke’s raised eyebrows, and blushed so furiously that Sasuke could have sworn even the roots of his hair turned red. “No, no, no, no, it’s not like that!” he exclaimed, furiously shaking his head. “Gaara’s ace, so we wouldn’t...I mean, I didn’t…” He buried his face in his hands and Sasuke laughed. “Stop laughing at me, you know,” he said, shoving Sasuke’s shoulder. The push had no strength, because Naruto was laughing too.

“He makes you happy, huh?” Sasuke asked once they both got their breath back.

“Yeah.” Naruto studied his hands. “After…after we lost you at Orochimaru’s lair, I disappeared for a few days. I was scared…” Naruto whispered, his breath catching. “I was scared of my power, of the Nine Tails. I had been so close to giving in, to the hatred and the pain and the temptation to be stronger. I hurt Sakura, so I didn’t want to go back to the village. I think it was my first -” He took a deep breath.

“Gaara was the one who found me. The hideout was pretty close to the sand’s border, so Sakura sent him a message to ask if he could try. I was in this cave in one of the mountains – it was solid rock, so Captain Yamato couldn’t come in, but the cracks were small enough that one of Gaara’s sand clones could slip through. He talked me out of the panic attack, told me that…that my worth didn’t depend on whether or not you wanted to be saved…that I was still a good person. He told the others that I’d be fine, and when they left, he came into the cave himself. We just sat and talked, about so many things, about being alone for all those years, about what it felt like to have this mass of anger inside you try to force itself out. He gave me a few tips about how to control the Nine Tails. I’m not sure how long we were there, but I think I fell asleep at some point.

“When I woke up, it was dark, and he was carrying me to his rooms in the Sand’s capital. He was going to sleep on the couch, but it was so warm, so I asked him to stay, and he did. I didn’t have any nightmares that night.”

“I’m glad, that you found someone,” Sasuke said softly.

“You don’t think it’s weird?” Naruto asked, his voice small. “That we’re both guys?”

Sasuke stared at him. “Kakashi and Gai have been going out for years.”

“Yeah, but they’re-“ Naruto stared at him in shock. “Wait, how did you know that? Kakashi only told me a few weeks ago!”

“Wasn’t it obvious?”

“No!”

“You’re lucky a boy carried you in his arms to his bed because you’re so dense I don’t think you’d have noticed that he liked you otherwise.” Sasuke laughed at Naruto. “How are you guys going to deal with the distance thing, though? I mean, Suna is a minimum of three days away – it can’t be easy to maintain a relationship if you’re so far apart,” Sasuke said, curious.

Naruto grinned at him. “You forget who my dad was? The greatest user of the transportation jutsu ever. As soon as Granny Tsunade lets me, I’m going to start training.”

“You think you’ll be able to manage a jutsu like that?” Sasuke asked, surprised.

“Why not, you know? If my dad could do it, I should be able to – I managed the Rasengan, which was his most advanced jutsu. Besides, he and the Second Hokage left behind tonnes of notes on how to do it. I’m sure I can and I’m not scared of how much work it might take,” Naruto said confidently, and Sasuke hummed.

They both turned when they heard Sakura stop at the entrance to the balcony. She was smiling brightly when she saw that they had made up. “Kakashi-sensei said I have to come get you two before the food gets cold.”

“We’re coming,” Sasuke said, still smiling, and he and Naruto followed her to the sounds of friends and family.


	4. Scar's past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team 7 get a mission to clean up a troop of White Zetsu, and Sasuke learns something awful about Sakura.
> 
> TRIGGER WARNING: self-harm/ mention of self-harm/ cutting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who's been commenting and levaing kudos on the story. It really means a lot. * hug *.
> 
> The rest of the story is going to mainly center on Sasuke and Sakura, and this chapter in particular will be the worst of the angst, so I'm sorry for that.
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and stay safe!

The mission started normally enough.

“Multiple reports indicate that there is a stronghold of around three hundred White Zetsu in this mountain range, and our scouts have narrowed down that this would be the easiest entrance,” Shikamaru said, pointing to coordinates on a map spread across the hokage’s desk.

“Your mission,” Kakashi said, swiveling in the chair, “is to take them out. The captain of the team will be Sai on the basis that he’s technically broken the fewest number of rules out of all of you.”

“Is that-“ Sai started.

Kakashi cut him off when he held up his hand. “You’ll be fine, Sai. You have the most practical experience out of everyone here, and you’ll be able to adapt the plan quickly in case things go wrong.”

“But why send us?” asked Sasuke.

Kakashi hummed. “Frankly, this team is so overpowered that it would be inefficient to send anyone else.” Kakashi crossed his arms and leaned back in the chair. “In addition to that, it’s very much a test to see if Konoha has you under control. The other four Kage want to study how you act on a mission so that they can prepare if you turn on everyone again.”

Sasuke swallowed, his head hanging slightly. Naruto put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “We understand, Kakashi-sensei.”

“It should take only one full day to get there, but the Zetsu don’t seem like they’re going to be making a move anytime soon, so if you guys feel like you need to rest for the night, you can,” Shikamaru said.

“Roger that!” Naruto said.

“Move out.”

* * *

Later, they slowed down their pace to walk along a path carved into the side of a mountain. Sakura and Naruto were bickering about the best after-mission meal in the front and Sasuke and Sai were stuck bringing up the rear.

Sasuke tried to ignore the awkward atmosphere, but it was difficult when Sai refused to meet his eyes.

“Ino said I should apollogise,” Sai said, still not looking at Sasuke. “Apparently calling you out on your bullshit was rude.”

Sasuke huffed in surprise. “No,” he laughed softly. “I needed someone to give me an excuse to stay, so thank you.”

They walked in silence for a little longer, the awkwardness fading as Sai relaxed slightly. “You seem less angry than I thought you’d be,” he said.

“What?” Sasuke asked, turning to look at him.

“About being replaced.”

“Oh,” Sasuke focused on Naruto and Sakura’s backs. “I’m more surprised that they took so long before they put you on. But I’m glad,” Sasuke interrupted when he saw Sai open his mouth to say something. “I’m glad that there was someone else that could protect them when I chose not to.”

Sai smiled then. “I don’t know about that. I said the wrong thing a lot.”

“Yeah, you and me both,” Sasuke smiled.

“Oi! Slow emo’s!” They looked up and saw Naruto waving. “Hurry up!”

When they caught up, Sakura was standing next to Naruto with her arms crossed. She looked irritated.

“Naruto, what did you do?” Sasuke asked.

“Nothing! I just had an idea.”

Sai and Sasuke exchanged skeptical looks with Sakura, who just rolled her eyes and turned her head away.

“What is it?” Sai asked cautiously.

“The cave is on the other side of this mountain, right?” Sai nodded slowly. “Instead of going _around_ the mountain, why don’t we go _through_ the mountain? I can use Rasengan to make a new cave. We’ll be able to cut the travel time in half, you know?” Naruto’s eyes were shining in excitement.

“That won’t work, you dumbass,” Sasuke said. “You’ll destroy the whole mountain.”

“So what? It’s not like anyone _uses_ this mountain. It just gets in the way.”

“You can’t destroy and entire landscape because you think it’s in the way, Naruto!” Sakura shouted in exasperation, throwing her hands up.

“Sai, come on, you agree with me, right?’

“I…um…understand where you’re coming from, but I don’t think –“

He was cut off by Naruto shouting and summoning a small rasengan. He pressed it against the wall of the cliff, sending a spray of mud over the side. When he pulled away, the chakra orb had barely made a dent in the hard rock.

Sasuke laughed. “You can’t even get a meter in and you think you’re going to take down the whole mountain?”

Naruto pouted, and was about to hit the rock again when Sai put a hand on his shoulder.

“Um…guys,” he said, pointing a shaky finger behind them.

Both boys felt the blood drain from their face when they saw that Sakura was covered from head to toe in mud, only her angry green eyes visible. She held her fist in front of her face and Naruto took a step back. “Sakura-chan, I’m sorry –“

“NARUTO YOU IDIOT!” she shouted, punching him in the gut and sending him crashing into the rock face.

“Sakura maybe you should calm –“ Sai started, both his arms lifted in a pose of surrender, a smile plastered on his face. He got quiet when Sakura gave him a dark glare. All three of them watched as she stormed off.

Sai followed shortly behind with a quick glance at Naruto to make sure he was okay.

Naruto peeled himself out of the rock.

“You know,” Sasuke said, his face blank. “Sakura broke further into that rock than you did.”

* * *

On the other side of the mountain was a dense forest, which was quickly darkened once the sun set. The group found a clearing near a wall and the boys started setting up as Sakura left to go clean herself off.

“Sakura-chan forgot her bag,” Naruto said, holding up a small black pouch. He held it out, “Take it to her.”

“Why me?” Sasuke asked, gesturing to the sleeping bag he was unrolling.

“Because she’d kill me or Sai if we went,” Naruto said, squinting his eyes to glare at Sasuke. Sai looked up from where he was building the fire and nodded solemnly.

Sasuke snorted and grabbed the bag as he walked past Naruto. They probably wouldn’t have stopped if Naruto hadn’t made such a mess, but Sasuke was grateful for the rest. He wasn’t as eager as the others appeared to rush right back into a fight. The team hadn’t worked together for years, and though he and Naruto had been sparring to recover after their injuries during the war, he wasn’t sure if they would be able to fight as well as Naruto and Sakura expected. Sai had at least tried to bring up the idea of a strategy, but Naruto and Sakura had been bickering too much to listen properly.

The moon was full, providing plenty of light and Sasuke stopped when he was within earshot of the waterfall. “Sakura?” he called. “I brought your bag – Naruto thought you might need it. Should I leave it here or - ?

“Just bring it here! I have my towel, so it’s okay!”

Sasuke swallowed and walked in the direction her voice had come from. She was sitting in a white towel on a flat rock close to the water’s edge, trying to use her fingers comb out the worst of the clumps that had formed in her hair. The rock was low down on the ground, but Sasuke still felt like he was staring up at her. The moon lit her up, reflecting off her hair and skin and making her look ethereal and flighting. If he couldn’t vividly remember their fight with Kaguya, he would tell anyone who would listen that this was the first time he had seen a goddess. She was glowing and it felt like a dream that he could be here, that she could find it in herself to trust him enough to keep her back turned. Why? Why would she do that after everything he had done?

“You can just put it down there, thanks Sasuke-kun,” she said, gesturing with a free hand to a spot closer to the river.

He had to walk past her to get there Sasuke had to swallow again when her legs came into view. Good God, those legs. There were so much of them. White and smooth but strong with muscles – nothing compared to Sakura’s arms, though. But…

“Where did those scars come from?” Sasuke asked. He knew she had very few scars since she was able to heal most of her wounds quickly - the few she couldn’t were just because she couldn’t reach. The three lines on her thigh looked similar to the scars that Naruto left on her arm when he lost control of the Nine Tails, but not quite the same; they were more evenly spaced and looked thinner, like the cuts they all had from when they first started training with kunai.

“Oh!” Sakura looked down, “I, uh, I think I was moving some equipment or something in the hospital and then forgot about it.”

“Oh. Dangerous.”

Sakura nodded stiffly and pursed her lips. “Um, yep. Dangerous.”

Sasuke realised he was still staring and felt the tips of his ears heat up. “I’ll just leave this...here,” he said, putting he bag down and turning his back on Sakura. He jumped into the trees to avoid looking at her again and returned to the camp.

Sai was still poking the fire, but all of the bedrolls had been set up, and Naruto was nowhere in sight.

“Where did Naruto go?” he asked.

“He needed to take a piss,” Sai said, pointedly looking at the fire instead of Sasuke. They hadn’t said much since Sai’s apology earlier, but Sakura also hadn’t been speaking to Naruto, so neither of them felt compelled to fill the silence.

Sasuke walked around the fire and sat down, not quite facing Sai, his eyes stuck on the fire. “Do you…” he began. He took a deep breath. “Do you know where the scars on Sakura’s leg come from? They look too deliberate to have come from a battle.”

He felt Sai look up at him, and Sasuke met his eyes. “Are you sure you want to know?” Sai asked. “I don’t think you’re going to like the answer as much as you think.”

Sasuke hesitated, then nodded. Sai turned back to the fire.

“After you attacked the Eight Tails, things got pretty serious in the village,” he started. “Lady Tsunade was in a coma, so she couldn’t reason with the Raikage like she normally would. He sent some people to the village to get any information we had on you so that he could hunt you down.” Sasuke nodded; Sakura had told him about how Naruto had let the Cloud kunoichi hit him until she vented her anger. “We were scared there would be a war. You had been declared an international criminal, and we knew Naruto wouldn’t let anyone hurt you.” Sai took a shaky breath, focused on the fire.

“I think…it might have been my fault,” he said, bringing his arms up to his shoulders and hugging himself close. “When Naruto left with Lord Sixth and Captain Yamato, I told Sakura that she was hurting Naruto by forcing him to keep his promise to bring you back.” Sasuke drew in a breath. He knew the basics of what his classmates had decided that day, knew that all of them except Naruto were fairly determined to kill him to avert a war and pre-emptively end the cycle of hatred, but no one had really told him about the specifics. “She made a choice to go stop Naruto, so we followed them to the Iron country. We had to stop for a night because Kiba and Akamaru needed food, and at some point Sakura disappeared.”

Sai got very quiet, his entire body frozen, locked in the memory as if he could see it playing on a screen in front of him. “I found her after she made the third cut.” Sasuke stopped breathing, and even his heart went still as he stared at Sai with wide eyes. “I ripped the kunai out of her hand before I realised that she was crying. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know if I was supposed to hug her or try to offer comfort somehow. I haven’t been exposed to many people who cry.”

“Why?” Sasuke croaked – some part of him had known what Sai would say, but to hear it was…

“She said that she couldn’t stop herself from loving a criminal. She had to punish herself somehow since no one else was.”

Sasuke felt the ground sway beneath him. He was sitting down, but he still had to put his hands to his sides to steady himself. He knew things were bad. Saukra had told him that she stopped eating for the first four months after he left until Lady Tsunade refused to train her anymore until she picked up some weight again. He knew that Sakura still flinched when her friends called her annoying. He knew she still had nightmares of him killing her – she didn’t like being touched on those nights. But this? This he didn’t know. Did he really drive one of his friends so far into the ground that they hated themselves as much as he did? Did Sakura truly think that her skin was something to be hated, to be hurt, because she loved him? Did he make her feel that dirty?

Did she really forgive him for that?

He started hyperventilating; short, heavy breathes that forced the air out of his lungs as soon as it entered. Black was creeping into the edges of his vision. He faintly heard someone calling out and warm hands on his back forced his face between his knees. Tears leaked from his eyes as he concentrated on controlling his breathing. He focused on a grain of sand in front of him. It was darker than the rest.

“What happened?” Naruto asked Sai.

Sai was panicked, his eyes wide, his hands flying around as if he wasn’t quite sure what he was meant to be doing with them. He was glad Naruto had appeared when he had; why did people insist on breaking down in front of Sai?

“He asked where some of Sakura’s scars came from and I – “

“The scars on her arm?” Naruto interrupted guiltily.

“No, no, others on her legs. He...he started panicking when I told him. I didn’t know that he would…I tried to warm him.”

Naruto looked up and saw that Sai was terrified. He smiled. “Hey, Sai, it’s okay. This isn’t your fault. He probably just got a fright when he realised that she had been hurt so badly. If he asked and you told the truth, you didn’t make him react like this.”

Sai nodded, taking deep breaths, lowering his hands. He looked up when Sakura emerged from the trees, her hair and clothes wet but free of the mud stains from earlier.

“Sasuke-kun! What happened?!” she cried, running toward him and falling to her knees in front of him.

Sasuke…stopped, went so silent that Naruto wasn’t even sure if his heart was beating. Through the hand still on Sasuke’s back, Naruto felt every muscle in his body seize as he slowly lifted his head to look in Sakura’s eyes. Her eyes were warm and full of concern and she tried to touch his face, but he flinched away so violently that he knocked into Naruto’s legs.

Sasuke didn’t seem to notice. He kicked out his legs, looking at Sakura in abject horror, his eyes wide and darting around frantically, the Sharingan activated. He was looking for an escape route, and he jumped away and into the trees as soon as he found one.

The three remaining teammates searched for him for fifteen minutes, before Sai asked why Naruto didn’t just use his Sage Mode to find Sasuke.

“I think Sasuke needs to be alone,” Naruto sighed, stopping on a tree branch. “I don’t know what you said to him Sai, but it really freaked him out. He was panicking, and I don’t know if us crowding him is going to help at all.”

“But what if he’s hurt, Naruto?” Sakura asked, her eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Sasuke is strong enough to take care of himself and I can tell that he hasn’t gone too far. We should just trust that he’ll join us again when we set off tomorrow morning,” when Sakura frowned even deeper, Naruto carried on, “Don’t you normally want to be alone after a nightmare?”

Sakura sighed and her shoulders drooped, as if all the tension had been keeping her upright and her body suddenly realised how tired it was. She nodded and turned around to head back to the camp. Sai and Naruto followed. Naruto glanced back at the dark expanse of the trees, certain that he knew exactly where Sasuke was, but still unable to see him in the dark. He hoped that what he told Sakura was right, that their faith in Sasuke would be enough to motivate the boy to rejoin them tomorrow.

He hoped he wouldn’t have to start another chase for his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some links if you need them, please, please stay safe:
> 
> SA : Substance Abuse helpline - 0800 12 13 14  
>  Suicide Crisis Line - 0800 567 567  
>  Befrienders hotline - 051 444 5691  
> US: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1 800 273 8255  
> UK: Samaritans UK & ROI hotlines - +44 (0) 8457 90 90 90 (UK local rate)  
>  +44 (0) 8457 90 91 92 (UK minicom)  
>  1850 60 90 90 (ROI local rate)  
>  1850 90 90 91 (ROI minicom)


	5. Steady

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mission to clear out the White Zetsu continues, but Sakura gets hurt when an unexpected aversary comes knocking to get revenge on Sasuke. 
> 
> ANGST BABY!
> 
> Trigger warning: blood/ mild gore/ injury

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the incredible response since the last chapter. To all the new readers, and everyone that has bookmarked and left kudos sinc ethen, thank you so so much. This year hasn't had a wonderful start for me, so it means the world that there are people out there who are willing to read what I'm putting out.
> 
> This is one of my favourite chapters in the fic, so I didn't really change much from the first draft. I'm sorry if it seems a bit choppy, but I really wanted to get to the comforting part ;D. Enjoy!

In the end, Naruto had no reason to worry. Sasuke fell in alongside them as soon as they started moving away from the campsite and easily kept pace with them, although his eyes were ringed by deep, dark circles, and he was moving his back stiffly. He either didn’t sleep at all, or he didn’t sleep very comfortably. Naruto knew Sasuke had nightmares – they all did – but he had never seen his friend this rattled before

Sai was the first one to break the silence. “Will you be able to fight today Sasuke? I don’t mean to doubt your abilities, but I also can’t let you go in there with us if we can’t trust you to keep your head straight enough to protect us.” Sasuke nodded, but still didn’t say anything. Sai seemed to think that this was good enough, because he started to outline the plan, making no move to exclude Sasuke from it. “Our target is three-hundred remaining White Zetsu. The report from the Allied Scouting team said that they saw traces of them in an underground cave which is about four hundred metres ahead. Sensory ninja were able to confirm the exact number after several were spotted moving in and out of the cave.

“I am planning to start the attack with one of my birds, using an ink that allows me to embed paper bombs in the line art. When it dives into the floor of the cave, it should be enough to drive most of the Zetsu into the open, outside of the cave, but some might still be hiding, so everyone needs to stay as vigilant as possible. Don’t let down your guard, and make sure that you can cover for your teammates if they need the help.”

“Roger,” Naruto said, raising his right hand in a mocking salute. “You almost sounded like a real team leader, Sai.”

“He is the real team leader you idiot!” Sakura shouted as she hit Naruto on the back of his head. He fell down through the trees a bit but managed to catch up to them again in no time.

He was pouting and opening his mouth to say something when Sai raised a clenched first, signalling that they had to stop. “The cave should be about fifty meters in front of us now,” he said as he pulled an empty scroll and a brush from the pack on his hip. He started sketching the bird, the strokes quick and light. The ink he was using was a bright red, almost shimmering in the spots of sun that broke through the trees, and it dried quickly, so he was done in no time. He folded his hands into a sign. “Ninja Art: Fire Phoenix Scroll!”

The bird peeled itself off the page, getting bigger as it manifested in the air, and they followed it as it flew through the trees. Sasuke barely had time to register the opening of the cave before the bird darted in, a loud bang sounding off a few moments later, dust and White Zetsu stumbling out of the cave.

“Go!” Sai shouted, and they all leapt into action.

Sasuke drew his sword as he dropped into the fray, thankful that he could let the fight push his thoughts out of his mind. He and Naruto had been sparring most days since they had been released from the hospital. Naruto used the excuse that he needed to exercise his new arm, but Sasuke knew it was more a way for the two of them to spend time together, punching each other to heal from other wounds they’d inflicted in the years they were apart. Sasuke enjoyed the fights, but he could never really lose himself in them; Naruto was too quick, the village too close. He didn’t want to take the risk that he might hurt his friend or the people who took him back, so he always forced himself to hold back. Naruto did too. The Zetsu weren’t the strongest opponents he had ever faced, but they were clever enough and had enough numbers that he couldn’t let his mind wonder, so he could get lost in this fight. He limited most of his movements to the swing of his sword, letting his mind go blank enough to only focus on the opponent right in front of him. He kept his back to the trees to make sure one didn’t try sneak behind him and attack. He was methodical and careful, embracing the routine and familiar shifts in his muscles. With every swing, he forced himself not to think about Sakura.

He heard Sai telling him and Sakura to finish up the remaining Zetsu outside, while he and Naruto headed further into the cave. Sasuke nodded but was too focused on the Zetsu clawing at his feet to give a proper reply.

The fight outside didn’t last long: only about sixty Zetsu had actually left the cave, and the way Sakura pushed up the ground made the Zetsu frantic enough that they all but speared themselves on Sasuke’s sword. After the worst of fight, Sasuke destroyed any remaining traces with his Fire Style, and he and Sakura walked across the ashes towards the cave entrance together. Sasuke kept his sword drawn and activated his Sharingan to make sure that nothing surprised them as they walked into the darkness. The entrance was smaller than he expected, and he flinched away when Sakura’s arm brushed his, almost dropping his sword. She looked at him with raised eyebrows, but didn’t say anything, too focused on the mission and finding their teammates.

The passageway from outside opened into a large cavern with a crater in the centre. Naruto and Sai were both surrounded by White Zetsu and Naruto’s flying rasengan was making the cave rattle. Sasuke headed in Sai’s direction, cutting down Zetsu from behind as he did. He saw one leap from the top of the cave, aiming for Sai’s head and he stabbed through it in a swift motion, driving it far away. Sai had his sword out too, ink spilled by his feet, clearly unable to use his Ninja Art. Sasuke stood behind him to support his blind spot and Sai gave him a grateful look.

The two were forced apart again, and Sasuke could let his mind go empty with the fight once more. He lost sight of the others, his vision blocked out by a sea of white. He wasn’t sure when he had been surrounded, but he wouldn’t let it become a problem.

Sasuke saw a shadow dart in the corner of his eye.

Then heard a scream from behind him.

It was shrill, echoing around the cavern and burying itself in the rock. The sound of pain beat through his blood vessels and with every pump of his heart, it forced its way into his bones. Sasuke would never forget it. He turned around with horrified eyes to see blood blooming across Sakura’s chest. Time slowed down.

An unfamiliar head sank into a shadow.

Sakura collapsed into his arms.

Naruto and Sai were shouting at them.

The cavern floor gave away beneath his feat.

Sasuke was dazed, his eyes wide and unfocused, his mind only able to process one thing at the time. They were in a hole. He was lying across Sakura. He had blocked the rocks from crushing her. She was bleeding.

“Sakura!”

Her eyes fluttered.

“Sakura! Sakura tell me what I need to do! You need to stay awake so you can tell me what to do!”

She lifted her hands slowly and grabbed his wrist where it was hanging in the air. She guided it over her chest, and pressed it down. Sasuke grimmaced at the stickiness. She took a deep, raspy breath, looking like she needed to cough, but she swallowed it down. “Use your Sharingan…can you see...Can you see my chakra network?” Sasuke nodded. “Good, that’s good,” she smiled tiredly. “Do you...see where it’s been severed?” She waited until he nodded again. “Circulate your chakra in…your palm. Mix it with mine and…pull the two parts together. Try…to make sure…the chakra…is connected in as many…vessels as possible.” Her breaths were shorter now, and Sasuke did as she asked, the two halves of her chakra coming together with a small spark in each vessel. He wasn’t delicate enough and missed some threads, and the bleeding wasn’t stopping.

“Sakura it isn’t working! Sakura!” he shouted, panicking when he saw that her eyes were closed.

“It’s okay,” she breathed. “It doesn’t have to be perfect…so long as my chakra is connected, I can regulate it myself to heal the muscles.” She seemed to be breathing easier, and Sasuke pulled away his shaking hand.

He pressed his hand to his heart, trying to stop the trembling, wiping the blood on his shirt. His heartbeat was pumping through his body so hard that he could feel it in his toes. He fell back and heard some movement above, and saw Naruto poking his head into the hole.

“You two okay?” he shouted.

“Sakura…Sakura is hurt, but I think she’s stable for now!” Sasuke called, his voice thick and shaking. “It wasn’t a White Zetsu that attacked us. Whatever it was, it can move in the shadows! Be careful!” He pushed his head between his knees, trying to get his breathing under control. He had to calm down so that he could get Sakura out of this hole and go help Naruto. 

“I’m sorry that I made you worry Sasuke-kun,” Sakura said, trying to push herself up.

Sasuke looked at her sharply and grabbed her shoulder. “Stop! Stop apologising! This is my fault. This is all my fault!”

He didn’t realise that he was crying until she reached up a hand to brush away his tears. “You didn’t throw me in front of that knife. I was the one who chose to save you. This wasn’t your fault.”

“But it was! I should’ve been watching my back, I shouldn’t have – I keep letting you get hurt!“

He broke off when she held his face in both of her hands. “Sasuke-kun,” she said sharply. “I am safe now. Breathe. In.” He breathed in, his eyes wide but locked on hers. He couldn’t look away. “Out.” She was so strong, so steady, so solid in this world that had tried to throw him in every single direction it could. “In.” He hurt her. “Out.” He tried to kill her. “In.” He made her hurt herself. “Out.” He…he couldn’t hear her anymore. He couldn’t see. His was breathing too loud, and his thoughts were flying too fast to grasp. He was sinking in the darkness, desperately paddling to keep himself afloat but he only had one arm and his sword was so heavy. He felt something press against his lips.

He stopped.

Every muscle in his body froze and his vision cleared.

He saw Sakura, her eyes open, impossibly close.

Her lips were…

On his.

She hesitated a moment, made sure that he was focused on her, then drew back slightly, resting her forehead on his, still looking in his eyes.

“You weren’t the one who hurt me Sasuke-kun.”

“Not this time,” he corrected, his voice raw.

“Not this time,” she agreed softly, reaching up to stroke his cheek.

“ _How_ , Sakura,” he whispered. “ _How,_ how can you keep putting yourself at risk for me? After everything I’ve done?” He grabbed her hand, squeezed it tightly. “I’ve hurt you so, so much. I tried to kill you, your _leg_ , Sakura – that was my fault!”

She hummed. “But I have scars because of Naruto too. Can I blame him for those? I am proud of my scars, because they come from love.”

“How could love make you hate yourself enough to -?”

“Sasuke…You weren’t the only one trapped in the darkness and you weren’t the only reason why I was trapped in that darkness. I got lost for a moment, doubted myself and my love and I let myself be afraid that I couldn’t help you. We both needed Naruto to pull us out that day, to show us the love that we missed.”

“But I –“

“You’ve hurt me, yes, and left scars other than those on my leg. So has Naruto. So has Hinata and Ino and Shikamaru and Sai. We hurt because of the bonds we have. We can only feel pain because we love and there would be no hurt if we didn’t feel anything at all,” she held his hand tighter. “But I would much rather _have_ that pain than nothing.

“I can forgive you because you’re trying. I see every day how hard you’re working, how hard you’re trying to fix everything that’s been broken, even if you weren’t the one who broke it. I know there is still a fire smouldering in you, and I know that you’re doing everything you can to set that fire ablaze again. I want to help you; I want to protect that fire from the wind and the rain and the cold until you can light your own way through the darkness.”

“Why?” he croaked.

“Because I love you, I have _always_ loved you,” she whispered, glancing at his lips. She kissed him again, closing her eyes this time, but Sasuke kept his open. He looked at her. This beautiful, warm, kind, _magical_ kunoichi that had decided that he was good enough to love, who decided that he was _enough_ to give a second chance. She didn’t expect him to have some grand destiny, she didn’t expect him to be the perfect shinobi who could bring honour to the clan’s name. She didn’t expect him to hate or to hurt, but she wanted to do whatever she could to help him _heal._

He moved his hand, grabbing the back of her head, pulling her even closer, and kissing her back as deeply as he could. She was surprised at first, but then let her hand sink to his waist. They were so close that Sasuke could hear her heart beating. His lips curled into a smile when he realised that her pulse was steadier than his. Her warmth enveloped him, sinking into his bones, taking its place above screams and scars that he would never forget, covering the cold that settled in while he lived in Orochimaru’s damp lair. She was always so calm and steady, unshakable in the miserable face of his flaws.

Sasuke wasn’t sure if he loved her yet – his heart had been so broken for so long that he hadn’t really let himself even consider the possibility until that moment – but he wanted to. He so desperately wanted to. He would try, every day. He would make her laugh and he would kiss her and he would let her love and kindness find their way to his heart where he could make it his own and let it shine out so that everyone could see how spectacular she was.

When they broke apart, Sakura was breathing deeply, and Sasuke considered for a moment that it probably wasn’t the best idea to kiss her so heavily while she still had an open wound on her chest, but then she smiled that big, beautiful smile and he stopped thinking. He smiled back at her, bringing his hand up to brush a strand of hair away from her face. He noticed that only a faint trace of her blood remained.

“I love you Sasuke-kun.”

He pulled her into a hug. They weren’t as close as they had been a few moments before, but Sasuke felt more grounded than he had since he came back in the village. He finally felt like none of this was a dream, like he could have a home once again. She gave him that. And Sasuke vowed that he would do _anything_ to keep her as happy as he possibly could. For the rest of his life, he would protect her and her smile and her kindness. He would fan the spark inside him until the day it burst into a flame and he could keep her as warm as she was keeping him right now.

Sasuke wanted to kiss her again, and leaned forward, but they heard Naruto calling from the top of the hole and then one of Sai’s birds flew down to take them to the surface. Sasuke helped Sakura on, climbing on behind her and holding her waist tightly so that she didn’t fall off. Sai made sure that the bird was careful; it managed to get them out of the hole quickly but didn’t jostle and accidentally aggravate Sakura’s wound.

When they reached the top, Sasuke helped Sakura climb down, and she sat on the ground. Sai started bandaging the wound on her chest, and Sasuke looked at the man Naruto was holding down under one of the Nine Tail’s arms.

“Who is he?” Sasuke asked.

“One of the old members of Root, apparently. He heard that we were going on this mission alone and figured he could attack and kill you without anyone realising. He wanted revenge for Danzou or something,” Naruto said, relaxed.

Sasuke nodded and let himself sink to the floor next to Naruto, resting his head on his knees. He was suddenly very tired.

Naruto put a hand on shoulder. Hashirama’s hand. It was so full of life that Sasuke could feel it vibrating through his shirt. “You can rest now Sasuke, you did well. Sakura is gonna be okay.”

Sasuke sighed and closed his eyes. He could rest now; he had done well. Sakura was going to be okay.


	6. Getting there

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sasuke and Sakura are sent on a mission before a hot-springs trip and are *gasp* forced to share a bed.
> 
> Prepare for some fluff babes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I just want to say that I'm really sorry for the slow/ inconsistent update schedule. I really wanted to post this chapter on Monday, but then I got sick and got stuck in a pretty bad depressive episode for the rest of the week. As a result, it wasn't very easy to edit such a light-hearted chapter, so this definitely isn't my best. I still think it's fun though, and I hope you enjoy it at least a little bit.
> 
> Thank you all for the continued support!

Kakashi was at the hospital again and was watching while Gai slept. He had been allowed to go to the banquet to welcome the Sand emissary, but he still wasn’t well enough to leave the hospital entirely. They had been shifting his meds, letting him wake up earlier and earlier every morning. Today’s prediction was 6.17. Gai was doing well – the red had mostly faded from his skin, and he was able to stay awake for longer and longer every day. Lady Tsunade said he would never be the same as he was, but Kakashi knew that Gai was stubborn enough to ignore what everyone else said. They’d be racing though the village again by next year.

Gai’s eyes fluttered and opened, landing on Kakashi.

“Hello there handsome,” Gai said groggily.

Kakashi walked over and sat on the bed. His palm hesitated above Gai’s, but he decided to put his hand next to Gai’s on the bed, nothing but their pinkies touching. “How are you feeling?”

“No need to be so formal Kakashi,” Gai gave a mock salute. “I’m in tip-top shape. Ready for any orders from the Hokage.”

Kakashi was still looking at Gai’s hand. “You know I’m not here as the Hokage.” Gai’s hand wrapped around his. “Don’t – “

“I feel fine,” Gai said when Kakashi glared at him. “I mean, everything hurts and I feel really old, but I’m alive and there’s a gorgeous man sitting on my bed. Even if he isn’t kissing me, that’s a pretty great deal.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes affectionately, then turned to look out the window at the birds flying across the village.

“How is the Hokage life anyway?” Gai squeezed his hand to shift his attention back.

Kakashi rubbed his eyes with his free hand. “It’s exhausting. But we’re going to start taking on missions again this week, so hopefully I can get some of the requests out of the way. Speaking of…”

Gai smiled wide. “Go do your Hokage things! Oh, if you come tonight, can you bring my razor?”

Kakashi nodded, leaning over to press a kiss against Gai’s forehead. “If I can’t, I’ll send Lee over with it.”

“Roger that.” Gai gave him a thumbs up as he left.

Kakashi knew he had work to do, but he was in no hurry to get back to the Hokage’s office. He chose to walk through the village instead, since it was early enough that there weren’t too many people who would want to stop and talk to him. He didn’t think he had the energy to be a diplomatic Hokage today.

“Good morning Kakashi-sensei!”

“Sakura, Sasuke,” Kakashi said, looking up as they walked over. “Were you two headed somewhere?”

They looked at each other and Kakashi hoped he wasn’t interrupting anything. “Not really,” Sakura said, uncertain.

“Perfect. I have a mission for you guys.”

Kakashi was grateful that he’d took the extra time yesterday afternoon to arrange the mission files, since it helped him find the one he was looking for almost immediately. “Some people have reported what they believed to be Edo Tensei ninja in one of Fire’s forests. They contacted the Leaf to investigate and take care of the problem if need be. The mission is a B-rank, but it could easily go up to S if something goes wrong,” he said, holding it out.

“And you’re just sending the two of us?” Sasuke asked as he scanned over the mission’s introduction.

“We don’t have any genin teams that are ready to head out, especially given how dangerous it would be if it is actually Edo Tensei. This is just a recon mission, and to be frank, the two of you are far too over-qualified to partner with anyone else.”

“Where is it?” Sakura asked.

“In a forest about a day south of here. Luckily, we helped out with repairs for an inn on the way, and they’ve sent word to say that they’d be more than happy to take the two of you up for the night, so you can let down your guard.”

“What do we do if it is Edo Tensei?” asked Sasuke as he passed the folder to Sakura.

“Stay on location but get to safety as soon as possible. Notify us with a hawk – we’ll have a team on standby – and try not to engage if it isn’t necessary.” Kakashi sat down and leaned back in his chair, staring at the ceiling. “Anyway, I really don’t think there is anything there; the forest is known to locals as ‘The Ghost Forest’ and we’ve sent two teams on separate occasions to check things out. Both reported that there was nothing to worry about. It’s highly likely that it’s just a local legend that is scaring people because of everything that went wrong in the war. Those mission reports are included in the file too. Try to go over them while you’re at the inn tonight.”

“Weren’t you planning a hot-springs trip for the team in two days, sensei? Are we still going?” Sakura asked.

Kakashi smiled. “Yeah. But, like I said, you guys should be able tot finish up fairly quickly, and then you can come join us when we need to check in.”

“We’ll leave as soon as we’re done packing,” Sakura nodded, and the two left.

Shikamaru walked in. “You know they’re going to be pissed when they realise, right?”

Kakashi leaned back and closed his eyes. He grinned. “I know.”

Sasuke was upset. Today had been going so well. When he ran into Sakura this morning during his run, the two had finally been able to have a decent conversation about something other than the war – it was about the groceries she had picked up to make new food pills, sure, but it was something. He was excited to be going on a mission. To spend the night at an inn alone with Sakura where they could talk and he could maybe make her smile. The journey to the inn had been good. The weather was wonderful. It was a good day.

But now.

There was only one bed.

Sasuke could feel his shoulders sinking and he wanted to bury his face in his hand.

“We have to…share a room?” Sakura asked the hostess that had greeted them.

“Yesh mem. That was da agre’ment in da papers we sen’ to da Fire,” the old woman said through a mouth of missing teath. Sasuke’s shoulders sank further.

“Oh, uh, thank you very much then. It looks lovely ma’am,” Sakura said, smiling sweetly, but her eyes were darting between the bed and Sasuke and the door.

The lady smiled wide and left.

“There was a clearing a few minutes back in the forest. I don’t mind sleeping there tonight,” Sasuke said tiredly.

Sakura looked at him in shock. “Do you even have a bedroll, Sasuke-kun?”

“I’ve slept on the ground a few times.”

She shook her head. “No, no, it’s, it’s okay. I think it’s going to rain tonight in any case.” It was definitely going to rain tonight.

“We can ask if they have extra sheets? The room’s floor should be dry,” Sasuke said thoughtfully, turning to go find the hostess.

Sakura grabbed his arm and he stopped, tilting his head back at her. She let go quickly and Sasuke saw that her hands were trembling. “Do you...um...is it okay if we…?” He stepped closer and she squeaked.

“Sakura, do you want me to share the bed with you tonight?”

“Yes?” She hurried, waving her hands and stepping away from Sasuke, “I mean, if that’s alright with you? You don’t have to, of course. I’m sorry it was a stupid idea, just forget about it. I’ll go ask for more sheets right now.” Her face was red.

Sasuke grinned, wide and excited. She stopped, dazed. “I would love to, Sakura,” he said softly.

“Oh.” This was fun.

“We should probably have dinner first though.” Sasuke took step closer, and she looked up at him, her eyes shining.

“Dinner sounds like a good idea.” Her gaze flicked to his lips and Sasuke felt something pull inside him.

“Do you want to freshen up first?” He took another step and could see her pulse fluttering in her neck now.

“I uh...” she swallowed, closing her eyes, as if collecting herself. “That’s a good idea,” she said softly, pushing gently on Sasuke’s chest and he stepped away. He was still smiling.

Sakura left the room after grabbing her bag, her heart still beating and her ears burning. She didn’t expect to see Sasuke so happy. He had been smiling so much, and just now was the most they’d really interacted alone since the cave-in on the Zetsu mission. She smiled when she thought of his grin. He knew what he was doing to her, how she reacted, and he was enjoying it. It felt surreal, that he was trying to give this thing between them a chance. They hadn’t spoken about her confession, nothing more than a smile or an affectionate glance, but she had seen him swallow and try to say something out of the corner of her eye more than once, and she knew that he was _trying_ and the fact that he cared enough to make any sort of effort filled her heart so much that it felt like it would burst.

It scared her too, that it was all a dream or a joke or just temporary. The first time Sasuke left, her heart was shattered, and she could barely feel enough to taste any of the food her mother gave her. She stopped eating. Now that he was back, and Naruto was smiling again, she didn’t think either of them would survive it if he disappeared again.

He was quieter than he had ever been before he left – both of them were – and it wasn’t just that they didn’t speak. They were quiet physically - even Naruto who was usually so jumpy and fidgety it was like he had a nest of ants in his socks (his room was messy enough the few times Sakura had been there that actual ants wouldn’t surprise her at all). But now, there had been days when she caught them staring into space, every single muscle in their bodies so still that she wasn’t even sure if blood was pumping through their veins. They’d get this look in their eyes, blank and closed off, as if their minds had been stolen away. She’d asked Lady Tsunade about it, and she said stares like that were normal after a war. But, Sakura felt that she knew what look Lady Tsunade was talking about; she’d seen it on all her friends’ faces, and yes, Naruto and Sasuke’s too.

This was different, more like the looks she’d see on the priests when her parents dragged her to a temple to pray when she was younger. It was the look of a mortal man that had been forced to see the secrets of the universe and he didn’t like what he saw. It was the look of a person who had been forced to look straight into the face of all the pain and hatred and darkness in the world and he wasn’t sure if he had the strength to fight it all. It was the look of a man who was afraid but accepted that fear because it was just too big to do anything else. Tsunade said the look of war would fade after a few years, but Sakura didn’t think this one would ever go away, not really.

Sasuke didn’t smile as much as she would hope. He said things with gestures more than words, and his face was always so neutral that she could almost never tell what he was thinking, but his eyes shone brighter every day. He stood straighter than he had the few times their paths crossed in the years he was away from the village, as if there had been a great weight on his shoulders that none of them had ever noticed before. He seemed happy. She smiled softly.

By the time she got back to the room, the sun was setting, and dinner had already been set up. Sasuke was sitting at one side of the table, and she took the seat that had been prepared opposite him. _The food still looks warm, so I haven’t been gone for too long_ , she thought sheepishly. Sasuke gestured with his chopsticks, and they said their greetings and began eating.

The food was delicious, warm and savoury, although somewhat saltier and richer than Sakura would prefer in the summer. She picked the cherry tomatoes out of her stew and left them on the side of her plate.

“You aren’t going to eat those?” Sasuke asked, pointing his chopsticks at the tomatoes, his cheeks bulging slightly with unchewed food. Sakura shook her head and watched in amused silence as he took the tomatoes one by one and put them on his own plate.

“Do you like tomatoes, Sasuke-kun?” she asked.

He nodded, looking at his plate. “My mother had a garden behind the house. The tomatoes were the only things that grew, so we always had way too many.”

She hummed, afraid to interrupt him. This was the first time he’d told her about the happy memories he had with his family.

“My father and Itachi weren’t big fans, so my mom and I always ended up finishing them all. She once tried to dry a bunch of them at once with her Fireball jutsu, but they just ended up burnt.” He considered for a moment. “I think I still ate them though.”

Sakura laughed, and he smiled at her.

“My mom once brought home some jelly that had been on sale and I ate about five bowls before we realised the reason why was because they had expired three months before that. I ate three more bowls and was sick in bed for a week.” He laughed with her and the room felt warm and alive with the joy.

They spoke some more about their favourite dishes, Sakura making a mental note to get as many of the recipes as she could, and when they were done, Sasuke wanted to take a walk around the inn.

“The central garden is nice, although there might not be enough light to see it properly right now,” he said, holding his hand out to pull her up. He let go as soon as she was standing, and Sakura tried not to be too disappointed.

The garden was square, bordered by the rooms of the inn, and Sakura could make out the basic outlines of winding paths and delicate sculptures, but Sasuke had been right about the light – the moon was nothing more than a sliver and the few stars scattered around were blocked out by heavy clouds. They found a bench and sat down, close enough that their shoulders skimmed. The hostess and her husband waved at them from across the courtyard.

“The old man tried to give me some sake earlier,” Sasuke said thoughtfully.

“You didn’t take any, did you?”

He huffed, “No. The old lady stopped him before I could.” Sakura giggled at how annoyed he sounded and watched as he tilted his head to look at the sky. “You ever think about it?” he asked softly. “How young we’re actually supposed to be?”

She looked at the clouds too. “Sometimes. I mean, Madara was over thirty when he died, and he only just got his rinnegan before that. You were seventeen. Naruto too; he had days to make the same connection with the Kyuubi that Killer Bee had taken nearly a lifetime to cultivate. The stuff you two accomplished in so little time is incredible.”

Sasuke nudged her with his elbow. “Says the girl who mastered Hundred Healings in just three years.” She smiled, her face heating up.

“What do normal people our age even do, anyway?” Sasuke asked.

“My mother has this picture of her and my dad before the war in a club where they went dancing every week before it got too dangerous. She still blames my dad for how crooked her toes are, but it’s also one of her favourite memories.”

“We should do that,” he said.

“Dancing?” She hummed. “There’s no music though.”

He tapped her forehead. “Not now, you idiot. At some point when we get back to the village.”

Sakura looked down at her hands suddenly. “Does that mean you’re thinking of staying for a while, Sasuke-kun?” Her voice was small, her hands clenched in her lap to stop them from trembling. Sasuke’s hand covered hers, and she looked up to find him suddenly close enough that she could see the faint ripples in his rinnegan eye through his bangs.

“Sai told me that the only way I can make up for the bad I’ve done to the village, and to you, is to do even more good. I want to try make you, and Naruto, as happy as possible for the rest of my life. I owe you at least that much.” He touched the side of her face lightly, applying a gentle pressure to bring her forward and plant a sweet kiss on her lips. She sighed happily.

The spoke for much longer than Sakura ever could have predicted. About her second chunin exam and her training with Tsunade and her fights with Ino. About his parents and his training with Orochimaru and the disasters of the first few missions he had with Taka. The lights of the other guests in the inn flickered off one by one until they were left in complete darkness and then they still spoke some more.

“Suigetsu refused to let Karin go and Juugo was getting so angry and I couldn’t get my sword unstuck from the tree. It was –“ Sasuke stopped when Sakura yawned and dropped her head onto his shoulder. He reached around her shoulders and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Tired?” She hummed. He stood up and pulled her to her feet. He led her back to the room, not bothering to turn on the light. Her eyes were half closed, and he helped her take off her shoes when he saw that she was ready to get into the bed with them still on. She tucked herself under the covers, facing the window. He climbed in behind her.

Sakura yawned again and turned around, squeaking when she remembered that Sasuke was sharing the bed with her.

“Your feet are cold,” she told him.

He grinned, flicking his ankles so that he could tickle her feet. She started giggling and pressed her face into his chest. She sighed happily. “Thank you, Sasuke-kun.”

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer, and their legs got so tangled that she didn’t even notice his cold feet anymore. She was more relaxed than she had been in months, unafraid of the shadows lurking behind her back. It was the first time since the end of the war that she hadn’t slept with her back to a wall. Sasuke pressed his face into her hair, huffing softly. “Goodnight Sakura.”


	7. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> get in loser, we're going to the Onsen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the incredible response to the last chapter. I was in an awful place and the encouragement really helped so much. I'm doing quite a bit better now, but I didn't want to push things too far, so this chapter might be a bit shot in comparison to the others, but I tried to make it as fun as I could. (I'm also really sorry that it took so long!)

They slept much longer than two shinobi on a mission had any right to, but Sasuke couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so well-rested. He didn’t dream, and he was warm when he woke up. Sakura was tucked into his side, breathing softly, her arms looped around his waist. They hadn’t moved since the previous night.

“Sakura,” he murmured, stroking her hair. She mumbled something indiscernible and pressed closer to Sasuke’s chest, breathing deeply. He smiled affectionately and bent closer so that he could whisper in her ear. “We have to get going.” She looked up and pouted. He laughed, brushing a strand of hair out of her face. “Good morning.”

“Good morning Sasuke-kun,” she yawned, her ears slightly pink. She smiled sheepishly. “I don’t want to stand up.”

Sasuke shook his head. “Me neither.”

She sighed, touched his face lightly, then untangled her legs and sat up in bed. Her hair was sticking up on one side, and Sasuke instinctively reached up to try fix it. He combed his hand through her hair, undoing the knot and she sighed again, pushing her head back into Sasuke’s hand. They stayed in silence like that for a while longer, revelling in the feeling of being awake and alive with the person that made the fighting they’d endured worth it.

“You’re late,” Naruto said when they arrived at the Hot Springs. Sai nodded.

“I wonder who’s fault that is?” Sasuke said, glaring at Kakashi. The corners of Kakashi’s eyes crinkled in a smile.

“Should the Hokage even be going to a Hot Spring outside the village?” Sakura panted.

Kakashi tapped Gai’s wheelchair. “Gai needed a break.”

Gai snorted. “I was fine in the hospital.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes dramatically. “ _Fine_. I needed the break. But if you tell anyone, I’ll make you four pay instead of writing it off as training expenses.”

Sai quickly disappeared without a word.

“Ah, what a wonderful day to be at a spa,” Naruto whistled, grasping Kakashi’s shoulder as he walked to the entrance.

“Thank you, Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura called, right behind Naruto.

Sasuke muttered something under his breath, following them.

“What’s that Sasuke? I couldn’t hear you!” Kakashi shouted at them.

“Thank you!” he shouted back.

Gai looked at Kakashi, who was studying his team’s retreating backs. “You aren’t really using the village’s funds, are you?” he asked.

Kakashi shook his head. “I started saving up for a trip when they passed my test that first day. When Sasuke left, I basically forgot about it until Shikamaru asked about it the other day. At least this way, I get to bring you with too.”

“I am grateful Kakashi!” he saluted.

Kakashi laughed as he pushed Gai to catch up with the others.

“Three rooms for Kakashi Hatake,” the receptionist said as she handed over their keys. “The fan in room 7 isn’t working, and we don’t have any extra. I hope that won’t be a problem.”

Kakashi sighed. “Gai and I can’t take that room. He’ll overheat with all the bandages.”

“It’s okay,” Naruto said. “The three of us will take it. Sasuke’s always cold nowadays anyway, so we probably wouldn’t even have used the fan, you know?”

Sai raised his eyebrows. “Are you sure Naruto? What if Sasuke wasn’t planning on sharing a room with us?” he teased.

“What?” Naruto asked, confused. Kakashi looked at the other two and wasn’t surprised to see the heavy blush on Sakura’s face, but he snickered when he saw that the tips of Sasuke’s ears were pink.

Sasuke huffed and grabbed the key from Kakashi. “It’s fine!” he hissed, storming off. Naruto followed him, still frowning, asking Sasuke to explain what Sai had meant. Sai followed after them, giggling and carrying a bag that Naruto had dropped.

Kakashi laughed when he handed Sakura her key and she squeaked.

“The baths are mixed, so we have clip-on towels for everyone in each changing room,” the receptionist interrupted, smiling politely. “Dinner will be served at eight.”

“Thank you very much, ma’am!” Gai said as Kakashi rolled him away.

The baths were formed from naturally carved rock pools, leaving layers of exposed rock that provided alcoves that were incredibly intimate and out of sight of any others. Sakura was the last to arrive and wondered faintly how Kakashi could justify spending that much of the Hokage’s budget on a simple Hot Springs trip. She walked around the baths for a bit, looking for the others before she saw that they had managed to find a completely empty pool.

Kakashi had lifted Gai out of his chair and lowered him onto a shallow step. He waved when he saw Sakura approaching. Naruto was swimming in the deeper water, and Sasuke and Sai were sitting on the side of the pool like Kakashi and Gai, so she slipped into the warm water next to Sasuke with a sigh.

He smiled lazily at her and lifted his arm around her shoulder, leaning his head back in relaxation. Naruto swam over and glanced between her and Sasuke and Kakashi and Gai. The water was above his mouth and he frowned, blowing some sad bubbles.

Sasuke kicked some water at him. “What are you all depressed for?”

“I’m the only one who doesn’t have someone to cuddle with,” he said sulkily.

“I’ll cuddle with you, Naruto,” Sai laughed.

Naruto pouted. “Pity cuddles don’t count.” Sakura had just enough time to see a wicked grin split across his face before his head disappeared under water.

A few seconds later, Sasuke was pulled down, and she yelped at the sudden emptiness.

“Naruto!” Sasuke shouted when he pushed his head up. Naruto emerged a second later, snickering, and Sasuke shoved him under again.

The two were rough housing and splashing one another, making the water in the pool lap and spill over the sides. Sakura saw Gai wince. “That’s enough you two!” Kakashi said sternly. “There are other people in this pool with you. Behave.”

Naruto and Sasuke froze, a look on their face akin to having their hands in the cookie jar. Sakura giggled, and the two looked at her.

Naruto’s face softened into a sad smile.

“What?” she asked subconsciously, reaching up to brush her hair that had frizzed slightly in the humidity.

Naruto shook his head as they swam over. “It’s nothing. I just haven’t seen you laugh like that in a long time, you know?”

Sasuke slipped back onto the step next to her, but Naruto hovered in the water in front of her. She smiled at him and put a soft hand on his cheek. “Thank you, Naruto.” Then she pushed him underwater too.

She, Sasuke and Sai were roaring with laughter when he came back up. He playfully stuck his tongue out.

Sakura sighed again, and relaxed against Sasuke, closing her eyes. The bath was so warm that it was tempting to fall asleep then and there. She felt so safe and whole, her family laughing and back together again. It was a dream come true.

Later that night, the six of them had gathered in Kakashi and Gai’s room. Naruto and Sasuke were bent over a shogi board (Naruto obviously loosing badly,) while Sakura was leaning against Naruto’s back as she flipped through a magazine. Sai was sitting near the door, sketching the scene. They all looked up when they heard a small tinkling sound coming from Kakashi’s hands.

And promptly turned away again when they saw the two small bells.

Kakashi’s shoulders sagged. “Come on. You guys don’t even want to fight your team leader for old time’s sake?”

“Nah,” said Sakura.

“No thanks,” Naruto muttered, staring intently at the shogi bored.

“Maybe next week,” Sasuke said, distracted as he moved a piece.

“No!” Naruto cried, pulling at his hair.

“What are the bells for, Captain Kakashi?” Sai asked.

Sakura put down her magazine. “That’s right!” she said, turning to face them with wide eyes. “Sai, you haven’t gotten a chance to fight for the bells yet, have you?”

Naruto and Sasuke looked up at each other.

“It’s a very important ritual,” Naruto nodded.

“Vital to be a part of Team 7,” Sasuke agreed.

Kakashi wasn’t sure when the fight to get the bells turned into an all-out taijutsu brawl, but it did, and he had had enough.

“I’m tapping out!” he called. “Naruto, you take the bells,” he said, throwing the bells into the air. Naruto caught them easily, and was immediately tackled to the ground by Sai. Kakashi laughed and walked over to watch from the sidelines with Gai.

“Gai,” he started, eyes still focused on the fight, “do you remember, after Rin’s death, how dry and cracked my hands got?”

Gai looked at him. “You said it was because they never felt clean, right?”

Kakashi hummed. “Naruto’s hands have started looking the same.”

Gai sighed, and turned back to watch the fight with a frown. “Have you talked to him about it yet?”

“I don’t know how to bring it up.”

They watched in silence for a few minutes longer, as Sakura grabbed Naruto’s hands and swung him at Sasuke’s stomach like a bat. Both boys went flying and just barely stopped themselves from crashing into a large pot in the corner of the garden.

Gai suddenly smiled. “You’re underestimating them, Kakashi. Their strength, and their bonds. None of them are alone.”

“I wasn’t either. You were bothering me nearly every day, but I still…” Kakashi trailed off with a sigh. He finally looked down when he felt Gai’s hand in his.

“We were a lot younger than they are now,” Gai said, squeezing his hand. “Plus, we both still thought we were straight.”

Kakashi laughed, and bent down slightly to press a kiss on the back of Gai’s hand. He tilted his head slightly to look at Gai through his lashes. “What would I do without you?”

“Get far fewer kisses, for one,” Gai said, pulling him closer.

Later, the four lay panting on the sand floor of the garden, staring up at the stars. There was no moon, so it was easy for the young shinobi to get lost in the small lights.

Naruto looked to the side. “Where’d Kakashi and Gai-sensei go?” he asked.

“I saw them sneak away a little while ago,” Sai said.

Sasuke sifted slightly to take hold of Sakura’s hand. “You guys think they’re sleeping?”

“Not a chance,” Sakura and Naruto said in unison.

“Probably not the best idea to go to the rooms just yet, then,” Sai laughed.

The group stayed quiet for longer, and as the lights in the resort flickered off, and more and more stars came into view, the mood between them grew still and sombre.

Naruto was the first to talk.

“I can still feel the ash from when Obito dissolved under my fingernails.” He paused, and the other three turned to look at him. “I keep cleaning them out – Gaara had to stop me once because I was making myself bleed – but it still feels like it’s there. It was so much thicker than I thought it would be.”

A breath. Then Sakura said, “I still feel like White Zetsu is watching me. My office at the hospital is so bright that Tsunade-sama says I’m going to need glasses soon. I don’t want to leave any shadows where he can hide.”

“Sometimes when I wake up it feels like I can’t breathe because I’m still inside Manda after he saved me from Deidera’s blast,” Sasuke said.

Sai hesitated, then whispered, “Danzou still shouts at me whenever I laugh."

They looked at the stars again. So far away, so small. The same stars that Itachi and Jiraiya and Obito had looked at.

Naruto spoke again. “I can still hear Pain stabbing that rod into Hinata’s side. How her blood trickled over the ground. I can’t stay in a room if there’s a leaking tap.”

“I can still hear your heart from when I was pumping it after you lost the Nine Tails,” Sakura said softly. “The festival drums make me jump and my hands start shaking.”

Sasuke blinked his eyes hard, and choked, “I still hear the sound of my Chidori going through Karin. I have to keep ordering new kunai because I can’t stand the sound of sharpening them.”

“Sometimes my ink snakes turn on me because I get afraid that Orochimaru is hiding somewhere in between them,” Sai said, his voice thick.

All four started crying softly by the third round.

“I still replay the moment when they told me Jiraiya was dead. Sometimes it feels like I’m dreaming when I visit his grave.”

“I remember realising that asking you to promise to bring Sasuke back was killing you. It still feels like the ground is going to fall out from under my feet.”

“I remember Madara telling me that Itachi was never to blame. It felt like I had been betrayed, like I had done nothing but lie to myself for my entire life.”

“I can’t remember what my brother’s smile looks like, only how angry he was when he died.”

Sasuke felt Naruto’s hand on his shoulder, and he squeezed Sakura’s hand. Naruto pressed his foot against Sai’s leg.

“Do you think it’s ever going to get better?” Naruto asked, ignoring the tears that dripped onto the soil.

“Tsunade-sama told me that there are still some days that she can’t operate because the blood makes her fingers feel so sticky that she can’t move them well enough. She said that wounds of memories are much harder to heal from than wounds of flesh. They can come back when you least expect them,” Sakura said, reaching up to wipe her own tears away.

Sasuke didn’t have a free hand, so he left his tears as is. “We can only do what we can. Work every day to do good and make up for the times we failed in the past. We won’t always be able to smile, but maybe one day we can get to a point where we smile more often than we cry.” He saw the white of his friends’ smiles next to him.

“We’ll get there,” Sakura said, turning to him and pressing her head against his shoulder.

“Together,” Sai and Naruto said, staring at the stars, letting their tears dry on their own.


	8. The intimacy of love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A festival in the Leaf Village is interrupted because Sakura Haruno cannot get a Break(TM).

Sakura stared at the kimono Ino and Hinata were holding out to her with trepidation. It was beautiful, a pink so light it could pass as white, with cherry blossoms sprinkled softly along the hem of the sleeves. A darker pink sash was partially looped around the waist.

“Just try it Sakura!” Ino admonished.

“You will look very beautiful, Sakura-kun,” Hinata nodded.

Sakura heard her mother shout that they were going to be late, and she signed, sitting on the bed between Ino and Hinata, hanging her head. The festival was outside the village, so they would have to walk a while to get there, especially if they were wearing kimonos.

“I can’t run in that thing,” she said, putting her head in her hands.

Hinata and Ino exchanged a glance above her head, suddenly understanding. They put their arms around her and hugged her tightly.

“The war is over Sakura, nothing bad is going to happen tonight.” Ino said softly. Hinata nodded.

“Until it does. What if someone gets hurt and I can’t help because I’m wearing something that doesn’t let me fight?”

Hinata pushed herself up, glancing around Sakura’s room as if she were looking for something. Her eyes lit up when she spotted Sakura’s leg band on the floor. She picked it up, and slipped a kunai in the pouch, smiling as she held it out to Sakura.

Ino grinned. “Perfect idea Hinata!” She picked up the kimono again, grabbing the kunai from Hinata. “And with some adjustments…” she cut a slit into the side so that Sakura could reach the kunai easily.

“Ino!” Sakura hated the fact that they had to ruin something so beautiful for her, but she was laughing at her friends’ endless support. “Thanks, you two.”

They helped her finish up, Ino in a deep purple kimono with white flowers scattered across and Hinata in a plain, but exquisitely made, light blue kimono. The three of them exchanged smiles and a giggle in the mirror, then finally sollowed the warm sounds of the festival.

Naruto and Sasuke were standing at the entrance when they arrived at the festival, and Sakura smiled when she saw that Sasuke was carrying his sword too. She said goodbye to Hinata and Ino, and then hurried over. “Sorry I’m late!” she shouted.

Naruto was relaxed, his hands behind his head and the sleeves of his grey kimono rolled over his shoulders. Sasuke was wearing a loose, dark blue kimono, and had his hand on his hip. They both straightened when they saw her and Naruto waved. Sasuke was staring at her as she approached, his mouth open in a surprised “o”.

“Sakura-chan! You look pretty!” Naruto said. He nudged Sasuke, “Doesn’t she look pretty, Sasuke?” Sasuke huffed and turned his head away so that he didn’t have to look at either of them, but Sakura and Naruto exchanged a grin when they saw the pink on his ears.

“The two of you look great!” she said.

“Did someone help you with your hair Sakura-chan?”

“Ino and Hinata were with me.” She laughed, subconsciously touching the bun they had wrangled together. She looked at Sasuke, who held out his arm to her. She looped her arm through his, and they walked toward the crowd streaming into the stalls, Naruto walking next to her.

“Is Gaara-san not coming?” she asked. She knew the sand siblings were here for a few days – she’d spoken to Temari with Shikamaru yesterday.

“He said he might come later when there are less people. The crowds make him nervous.”

“He should be careful not to miss the fireworks,” Sakura said.

“I’ll go get him before that,” Naruto said, smiling.

They casually browsed the stalls for a while, not really buying anything; paper flowers and goldfish weren’t very useful for shinobi, but Sakura enjoyed the laughter and mirth in the air. It was comforting to see the children run around her feet after everything that had happened during the war. Her nightmares made it so easy to forget that there was new life and dreams blooming every day.

A little girl ran into Sasuke’s leg and he stopped, letting go of Sakura’s hand to bend down and look at her. He reached behind her ear and pulled out a small cherry blossom. The girl’s eyes went wide, and she screeched with laughter. She ran off to show the flower to all her friends.

“How did you do that?” Sakura asked, awed.

Sasuke held a finger up to his lips and smiled secretively at her. “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

She laughed, and he took her hand again. At the other end of the stalls was a clearing for watching the fireworks later. It was ringed by paper lanterns giving off a warm orange glow, and soft music was playing from somewhere. She let Sasuke lead her right to the edge of the cliff, as far away as they could get from the loud crowd.

“Pretty close to that cliff, Sasuke-kun. What happens if you fall?” she teased.

“You’ll catch me, won’t you?” he asked, turning to face her with his eyes shining with the reflection of the lanterns. He held out his hand, bending at the waist slightly. “I believe I promised you a dance.”

Sakura stared at his hand, surprised. She blushed, then smiled, taking his hand. He spun her closer, wrapping his arm around her waist. She held onto his shoulder and took his empty sleeve in her other hand. He squeezed her hip and she jumped. His eyes glinted. “Ticklish?”

“N-no,” she stammered.

He laughed warmly and bent low to whisper in her ear. “You sure?”

She giggled. She couldn’t take him seriously. Soon they were both laughing, still clutching onto one another for support. The warmth and familiarity of Sasuke’s strong arm flowed through to her toes, and she relaxed her head on his shoulder. He started swaying, humming softly to the music she could barely hear anymore. It was almost perfect.

Which is why she shouldn’t have been surprised when the boulder crashed next to them.

Sasuke saw it first, pushing her out of the way, but tripping and going over the side of the cliff. She grabbed his arm and he grinned at her as if he wasn’t about to fall to his death. He used the momentum from falling to push himself off the face of the cliff, flipping back up over Sakura’s head, and landing in front of her.

Sasuke drew his sword and faced the threat. Three shinobi, wearing Stone headbands with a line through the symbol. Rogue ninja.

“Sasuke-kun, you deal with this. I’m going to help evacuate.” She knew Naruto would be there soon, but neither of them could use their powers effectively with this many people around. He nodded at her, and she ran toward the crowd. She saw several other shinobi trying to guide people peacefully away, but most of the crowd was civilians and children, and they were panicking.

She helped a little girl who had fallen because of the shockwave. The girl had scraped her knee and was crying. Sakura bent in front of her, using her back to block the view of the shinobi fighting. She healed the scrape and helped the girl up. “See, all better?” she smiled. She pushed the girl to her mother and turned around. Her eyes widened. “Sasuke-kun!”

She was too late. A fourth shinobi had snuck into Sasuke’s blind-spot and stabbed at him with a curved blade from behind. She left the civilians and ran to help, punching the man away and over the cliff as Sasuke pulled the sword out. She tried to heal him, but he pushed her hands away. “No time,” he said, jumping back into the fray.

Sakura swore under her breath. _Reckless idiot._ “Naruto, you’re late!” she shouted when she saw him enter the fight, Gaara in tow.

Once Naruto joined the fight, it didn’t take long to subdue the rogue shinobi, and Sasuke finally stood still long enough for Sakura to perform emergency healing. The wound wasn’t to a vital organ, but because he had started fighting before she could heal it properly, it had torn open further and was bleeding profusely. She hit Sasuke across the back of his head. “You idiot!” she hissed.

“What happened?” Kakashi asked as he landed.

“Naruto and I fought off some rogue stone shinobi,” Sasuke answered.

“You ruined a perfectly good kimono, is what you did,” Sakura muttered angrily.

“Oh, come on,” Naruto joked. “The bloodstains distract from the large gaping hole.” Sakura glared at him, and he jumped, raising his hands defensively.

Kakashi signed. “Naruto, you and Gaara take these men to the cells.”

“I threw another one off the cliff earlier too,” Sakura told him.

Kakashi nodded. “Ino, Choji, you go look for that one. Shikamaru, you and I are going to try organise and clean everything up here.”

“I’ll help,” Sasuke said, pushing himself up.

Sakura firmly pushed him down again. “No you won’t. Hospital.”

“You can’t heal me here?” he asked.

“I need to see to be able to heal you.”

“Then I’ll-“ Sasuke broke off and drew in a sharp breath when he saw Sakura’s hands trembling. “Okay.” He let her pull him to his feet and she helped him to the hospital.

“Do you think they’ll go ahead with the fireworks?” Sasuke asked from the bed.

“Probably not,” Sakura said, rinsing out the bandages and cloth she had used to clean Sasuke’s wound. “The parents will probably be too scared to bring their kids back.”

“That’s a shame. I haven’t seen any fireworks for so long.”

Sakura smiled tiredly at him. “You probably won’t have to wait much longer. I’m sure Shikamaru will convince Kakashi-sensei to hold the festival again in a few days. ALthough, there's a part of me that hopes he won't.”

Sasuke hummed. “I’m sorry for troubling you, Sakura,” he whispered.

She looked at the floor. “Don’t apologise if you can’t promise you that you won’t do it again.” She sighed. “You can go. Just don’t do any intense activity for tonight.”

Sasuke nodded. He hesitated, like he wanted to walk closer, but changed his mind at the last minute. He turned away and walked out the door, leaving her alone in a white hospital room.

Sakura left the lights off when she walked into her room later that night. The curtains were closed, so there was very little light for her to see the kimono when she pulled it off and put on something more comfortable. She sighed, sinking onto her bed.

“Is just one night really too much to -” a shadow passed in front of her window, and she jumped. She picked up the kunai next to her feet but relaxed slightly when she heard a tap. “Sasuke-kun?!” she cried when she opened the curtain. He smiled sheepishly at her. She let him in. “I told you that you couldn’t go around jumping everywhere tonight!”

He shrugged. “I owe you a dance.”

“I…what?”

“A dance,” Sasuke said firmly, holding his hand out to her.

“Here?”

“As good as anywhere else, isn’t it?”

She took a hesitant step forward and he closed the gap, slipping his arm around her waist again. She dropped her head to his shoulder and sighed heavily, her shoulders relaxing completely as she looped her arms around his neck.

“I’m really sorry for scaring you, Sakura,” he said softly.

She pressed her lips to the nape of his neck. “It’s okay. You’re safe.” He hugged her even closer, and started humming slowly, swaying. Sakura had never felt so warm before.

Lady Tsunade had once told Sakura that love wasn’t something that could be freely give. Love wasn’t blind and it wasn’t easy and it wasn’t instant. “One does not _fall_ in love” she had said. “Love isn’t about kissing a boy or being in his clan or making sure there is dinner ready every night when he gets home. Love is a knowing, an understanding. It’s when you’re so close to another person that you know their quirks and mannerisms better than you know your own. It’s knowing and understanding and accepting their flaws. You don’t love a man in spite of his flaws – you love him because those flaws are important pieces of the puzzle that makes him. Without any one of those flaws, he would be a different person entirely, a man you did not love.

“Love isn’t something that can catch you off-guard. It will not sneak up on you, and it will not frighten you. Love is something you walk into, every step of the way lit by the understanding of who the person on the other side is. Love is surrendering yourself, your soul, to being known so intimately that sometimes it will feel as if you have been turned inside out. Love is kind and warm and gentle and it should always make you feel like you’re at home. You have a caring soul, Sakura, and the man who loves you must cradle that soul and keep it as warm as he can. You must know him, and he must know you, completely. You must be willing to give up every part of yourself so that he can see all your cracks and edges, all your pain and anger and resentment. He must be your world, and you must be his.”

“I love you, Sasuke-kun,” Sakura said as they swayed lightly to the music. She’d said those words before, in the impulsiveness of youth and battle and many other moments when she was so charged with emotions that she had to say _something_ to release them all. But here, in this quiet moment, in her room with her parents bustling about in the kitchen, the sun a distant memory, and the quiet of Konoha at midnight drifting through her window, those words felt more intimate than ever before. It wasn’t a confession anymore. It was a statement, a promise, a belief. She would love him. Forever, if she could. She would protect him and his heart for as long as she would be able, and she would scream his praises after that. She would know him, his darkness and his scars and his deepest fears, and she would nurture them until he could carry them on his own. She would love him.

He looked at her, his eyes full of an emotion that she could not pinpoint. He swallowed, “I…I l-“

“It’s okay, Sasuke-kun,” she said, placing a gentle hand on his neck, stroking the cheek under his rinnegan. “I _know_ ,” she whispered. She had years as a child to memories his expressions and body language and what they meant. She knew what he was saying when his eyes lit up when he saw her, even if the shape of his mouth didn’t change. She knew what he was saying when he turned to her when she laughed at something in a conversation and he looked at her like she was the sun and he was the moon that would follow her for the rest of his life. She knew what his forehead tap meant – that it conveyed so much more about family and hope and love and the future than any small words could for him. She knew that he loved her. He didn’t have to say it.

He kissed her then. Gently, sweetly, deeply. A kiss filled with love and kindness and friendship, with “I’m sorry” and “thank you” and “I’m here and I’m never going away again.” It was a promise and a declaration and Sakura’s eyes stung at the raw emotion.

Sasuke pulled away, his eyes locked on hers. He smiled, big and wide and maybe a little sad, but mostly hopeful. “ _I know._ ”


	9. Epilogue: Proposal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura understands that words aren't necessary for everything, but sometimes, she does need to hear it out loud.

**2 years later**

Sakura hesitated in the door to the kitchen and stared at Sasuke bent over the stove. When they first moved in together, Lady Tsunade had suggested that they try to establish a routine for the household chores and stick to it as much as they could. They took turns cooking every other night and were able to keep it consistent except for the odd days when a mission or appointment at the hospital took a bit longer than normal. It was her turn to cook tonight. She had bought everything she needed to make some of her mother’s katsudon, but she got caught up talking to Ino and Hinata on the way back from the store. She knew there would still be enough time for her to finish if she skipped a few steps, but Sasuke had already taken over.

He was relaxed, wearing the black apron Sakura had used to start practising the embroidery of the Uchiha symbol when Sasuke was away on a mission a few months ago. The threads were the wrong colour and the lines were all skew and there were strands standing up and unravelling and more than a few drops of blood on the fabric where Sakura had pricked her fingers with the needle. She was so frustrated by the end that she was about to throw it away when Sasuke came home. She tried to hide it from him, but he pulled it out from behind her and saw. Sakura remembered how her face had burned. She felt so ashamed at making the assumption that he would want this, that she could touch the symbol of the family he loved so much. She remembered how quiet Sasuke got, how he swallowed. She remembered how his eyes were glazed when he looked up at her. He kept the apron, insisted on wearing it as often as possible, although he was so neat in the kitchen that she didn’t really think he even needed it (Sakura was a messy cook, and would always spend as much time cleaning the kitchen after a meal as she did actually making it.)

“I thought it was my turn to cook tonight?” she asked, putting the grocery bag down on the kitchen table. “I went shopping and everything."

Sasuke shrugged, glancing at her from under his hair, not really saying anything. She walked up to him and hugged him from behind, slipping her left arm through the loop made by his empty sleeve, careful not to loosen it from where Sasuke had tucked it into the hem of the apron. He pressed his head against hers, smiling softly.

“Good day?” Sakura asked, laughing slightly.

“Mn. I beat Naruto in our sparring match this afternoon,” he said, still stirring the pot, his eyes shining.

Sakura laughed fully. “It’s amazing how little will make you happy. But, really, you didn’t have to cook.”

“I wanted to.”

Sakura smiled, kissed him on the cheek. “I’m going to shower _anta._ ”

Dinner wasn’t particularly fancy. Sasuke was a good cook – a result of how much time he spent on his own – but he didn’t really care about presentation. A lot of his dishes were him just throwing a bunch of ingredients together and manipulating them enough that they happened to turn out okay. Tonight’s dish was a dark, creamy green paste laid over some thick noodles – the seaweed left over from the handrolls she made two nights ago, and the ramen noodles he froze after one of his meals last week.

Sakura took a bite and was surprised by how much she enjoyed it. The paste wasn’t as rich as she had thought it'd be, and it went down very well with the solid noodles. “What is this?” she asked. “I don’t think you’ve made it before.”

“It’s a dish from the hidden mist. _Pyropia_ , if I remember correctly. Suigetsu wanted some one night while we were travelling.”

“Have you heard from team Taka lately?” Sakura asked.

“Mm. They’re doing okay. Orochimaru isn’t trying to force them to do anything awful.” He looked up in thought. “Suigetsu and Karin went on a date the other day.”

Sakura nearly choked. “Suigetsu and Karin? I thought those two were always at each other’s throats? I can’t believe they actually went on a date!”

“It went well – Suigetsu is thinking of asking her for another,” Sasuke said, his smile almost a grin. Sakura loved seeing him like this; he was normally so quiet and reserved, closed off. It had taken longer than she expected to get used to it, to realise that he wasn’t angry or sad or upset, especially with how affectionate Naruto had always been.

“And Juugo-san? Has he found anyone yet?” she prompted, hoping to keep the conversation going and that beautiful smile on his face.

Sasuke’s smile didn’t disappear, but it did get sad. “I don’t think Juugo is going to find someone that he loves as much as Kimimaru. Juugo thought he’d be able to spend the rest of his life with him.”

Sakura sighed, both at the tragedy of the shinobi world that kept denying so many people of their happiness and at the smile that faded from Sasuke’s face. “Maybe we can set him up with someone? There’s a new intern at the hospital. _Very_ handsome and soft and muscular…”

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her. “Muscular?” The grin was back, he reached over to trap her hand that was sitting next to her spoon.

“Well of course. I noticed things like this you know. I mean, it’s not like I’m-“ she caught herself just in time to realise that she had almost brought up the conversation with Hinata and Ino that afternoon.

“It’s not like…what?”

“It’s nothing,” Sakura said quickly, glancing at her empty left hand, but looking away before Sasuke could notice.

He squeezed her hand. “What’s wrong Sakura?”

“No, don’t worry, it’s really nothing,” she pulled her hand out from under his and drew it close to her chest. “I don’t want to be-“

“You aren’t annoying.”

She looked at him, then took a shaky breath, then said in a rush, “I, um, Ino, and Hinata, we, we were talking this afternoon, about their weddings and stuff, and I know that you went with all the boys to pick out rings, but you and Lee didn’t get one, and Lee isn’t dating anyone, so it would make sense that he didn’t get a ring, but I wasn’t sure if it meant that you didn’t want to get married? I mean, it’s okay if you don’t! I’m perfectly happy like this, I just want to know if that’s something that we’re ever going to do? My mom’s been bugging me, you know, and I don’t know, I don’t know what I should tell her.”

Sasuke squinted at her, as if he was trying to translate what she had said. “You aren’t sure if we’re getting married?” She nodded quietly, still holding her hand close. “Because I didn’t get a ring?” She nodded again.

Sasuke let out a breath and chuckled softly. “You idiot,” he said affectionately, reaching across the table to press two fingers against her forehead mark. He reached down to take her hand, and stood up, leading her away from the table.

He took her to the spare room, which they had mostly been using to store weapons and scrolls and whatever else they might need for a mission. Saukra didn’t really come into the room since most of her work lately had been in the hospital – she’d only leave the village if they needed a particular herb, and with the new peace between the villages, those missions aren’t as dangerous as they once were. Sasuke had set up a table where he could work to keep the weapons clean and sharp. She knew he liked to work in here most nights if he woke up from the nightmares, or if he couldn’t fall asleep, and she’d always assumed that he was just working on the kunai or the shuriken, but the table was covered the carving tools she’s once seen with carrying and scattered wood shavings.

Sasuke let go of her hand to reach for a neat little box that was lying in the middle of all the rubble. He handed it to her. The box was soft and sweet, the beginnings of a design sketched onto the face, the corners already rounded. “Open it,” Sasuke prompted. She did. Lying inside was a thin ring of wood, a layer of lighter wood beneath a darker wood, perfectly round and smooth, practically glowing from the varnish that he’s painted over it. It looked so delicate that she didn’t want to pick it up to look closer at the pattern carved into the face.

“You can pick it up, you know. It’s yours.”

“It’s…mine?” Sakura’s hands were shaking slightly.

“Your wedding ring, Sakura.” She stared at him. He lifted his hand to scratch the back of his neck, looking at the ground. “I had to find something to do when Orochimaru wasn’t training me, and there was always wood lying around from failed experiments with Hashirama’s cells, so I just…”

She was crying. Big, quiet drops that fell from her face onto her dress. Sasuke widened his eyes when he looked up and saw. He grabbed her shoulder. “It’s okay if you don’t like it, Sakura. I can go get another one tomorrow if you’d prefer. The store had this one where the diamond was pink and it was kinda shaped like a cherry blossom, I thought that would look nice too, so you don’t have to keep- “

She sobbed, and then tackled him. She held onto him as strongly as she could. He was, and had always been, her lifeline, her goal, her endpoint. She knew, she _knew_ , that he wasn’t all she had to live for, she had Naruto and Kakashi-sensei and her parent, but her heart had never been so full, so happy. It almost hurt.

“Really Sakura, if you don’t like it, we can go get another,” Sasuke said, his arm coming around her reflexively. He hugged her even closer.

“It’s beautiful Sasuke-kun,” she choked.

He drew away slightly, cradled her messy face in his hand. “I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I thought you knew, I thought -.” He shook his head a little. “I was going to give it to you when the box was finished, but I should’ve said something sooner, I’m sorry.” He pressed his forehead against hers, and she could feel everything – his hurt and his pain and all of his darkness, but also his hope and his relief and his overwhelming warmth. Sasuke wanted this. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. A family. She would be an Uchiha.

“Thank you Sasuke. Thank you so much.”

He smiled at her and wiped away some of her tears. He stretched his arm behind him to grab the box from her hands, then slipped out of the loop she had made around his neck. He sank to one knee, holding the box open, with that beautiful, beautiful ring sitting in the middle. Her sobs started from the beginning.

“Will you marry me Sakura Haruno?” his eyes shone, with unshed tears of possibility and hope and dreams of a future where they were happy and together and Sasuke _finally_ had a full family of his own again.

Sakura was sobbing so much that she couldn’t breathe, let alone speak, but she nodded her head and held out a shaky hand. Sasuke stood up and slipped the ring on her finger, laughing softly. “Stop crying so much.”

“I can’t help it you idiot,” she said between gasps. He was smiling. So much. That grin she had been chasing all night was there, all because of her. He kissed her, long and deep, full of promises and love and warmth and home and everything else she had needed for so long.

The Fourth Shinobi War was two and a half years ago. The world had mostly recovered, with some craters and scars and some broken hearts. But Sakura’s war had started long before that – the day Sasuke decided that he was too broken to deserve happiness. The day he walked away from the village with nothing but a “Thank you” whispered in her ear. Her war against hate and hurt and the pain of this shinobi world that told the boy she loved so dearly that he didn’t deserve it simply because he was born into a clan plagued by tragedy. A shinobi world that told her she couldn’t be a healer who fought with her fists, a world that told her she was weak and pathetic and annoying for loving a man who was so lost in the dark that he couldn’t see the light she held out to him, all because his eyes bore a burden too heavy for that light. She would change that burden. She would take the Uchiha name and turn into something that meant strength and love and hope. She wouldn’t let another Uchiha be trapped in the darkness the way Sasuke had. She wouldn’t let there be another Madara, or Obito, or Shisui or Itachi or Sasuke. The Uchiha name would shine, bloom into a subtle, beautiful, Sakura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for sticking with me on this story! I know that the quality of these last few chapters wasn't fantastic, but I'm proud of a lot of what I've written, partly because of the incredible support, but also because I genuinely let myself enjoy doing this. Thank you for the comments and the kudos and the bookmarks, and the people who shared it on Tumblr. I was terrified to post because I've never written anything like this before, btu now I'm excited for what I might turn out in the future. Thank you all so, so much!
> 
> Also, Pyropia isn't a real food. I made it up and took the name from the genus of Japanese seaweed XD


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